Chapter 42

Chapter 42

“I really lived like a beggar,” I murmured to myself, laughing weakly at the memory. Remembering what my life had been like, I began to think that maybe my current position as the duke’s bogus daughter might be better. As I got out of bed, I told myself, “That’s enough wallowing in unpleasant memories.”

I needed to get up and move around whenever my mental state got like this—sitting still would only make me more vulnerable to my depressing thoughts. I found a shawl and left my room to go for a walk. I was walking down the hallway and making my way toward the staircase when I came across the butler as he descended from upstairs.

“My lady...” He seemed surprised. “Where would you be headed this evening?”

“Outside,” I answered simply.

“Are you going to East Hill to see the fireworks?”

“East Hill?” I asked, just before remembering the place he was referring to. It was the hill Derrick had dragged me to not that long ago, where I’d been left to return home on my own. I could only assume that Penelope usually left the manor to see the fireworks on the last day of the festival each year. It made more sense to me then—that the duke had asked if I would be attending. I wasn’t the romantic sort, so going all that way just to see some fireworks didn’t appeal to me. Shaking my head, I said, “No.”

“Why not, my lady?”

“It’s too much effort.”

He seemed troubled by my lack of enthusiasm. Maybe the older man was surprised since Penelope hadn’t ever missed the fireworks before. I didn’t care. A villain was supposed to be capricious, wasn’t she?

“My lady, they’ll be celebrating the empire’s victory as well so the finale for this year’s festival should be even grander than previous years.”

“Fireworks are fireworks.” I had no idea why he was insisting on having this conversation. Since he’d been present at lunch earlier, I didn’t feel like lingering in his presence. As I began walking away, I dismissed him, “As you were.”

“Lady Penelope,” he called urgently, halting my beeline for the stairs.

“What?” I replied, pausing at the top of the staircase to turn and regard him. The old butler seemed to hesitate—which was rare behavior for him—and said, “I’ve just cleaned out the attic, at the duke’s instruction. I was on my way to inform you of this.”

“Inform me?” I couldn’t imagine why he would want to notify me of anything regarding the attic. The entrance to the attic was at the end of the hallway on the third floor, and I’d personally never been there before. “Why?”

“You... went there often as a child. You liked to watch the fireworks when you were first brought to the manor, my lady. If I had to guess, the duke remembered and asked me to clean the attic for you to use—”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I cut him off coldly with a laugh. “I haven’t been allowed up there in a very long time. Because someone hated my going up to the third floor, it was boarded up and I was prohibited from going anywhere near that attic.”

The butler was silent. I usually wouldn’t have been so aggressive, but he had caught me at a bad time. The odd similarities between my old life and this current situation were igniting a rage in me that I was struggling to contain.

“Lady Dona... was fired on the spot, my lady,” he said cautiously, with an uneasy expression. His brow furrowed. “The duke was highly upset, and she was fired and sent from the manor empty-handed. She didn’t even receive her severance pay. As she has been working here for a very long time and comes from the house of a viscount—albeit one on the decline—no further punishment could be given to her.”

I felt my eyes widen at hearing this news. I stared at him in surprise, and he continued calmly, “But because Lord Derrick burned her contract and recommendation letter himself, she’ll no longer be able to find work in a noble household.”

“So? Should I be happy to hear this news?” I asked grimly. Though her dismissal was unexpected, it didn’t do much to improve my mood. If the problem was so easy to deal with, why had nothing been done sooner? They never did anything to help before. On the contrary, I was threatened and told not to complain, since Emily has worked here for such a long time. Thinking of what Derrick had said, even knowing I’d been made to eat rotten food, worsened my mood. “You needn’t inform me of such trifling matters. Issues with the staff are none of my concern, anyway.”

“The duke was very troubled by what happened at lunch. He was concerned that you refused to eat anything even after retiring to your room.”

So, what do you expect me to do about it? I swallowed the urge to spit those words at him and forced myself to smile. “Do you think he’ll feel better then, if I go down and eat something right away?”

“My lady, what happened today is my fault,” he said, suddenly giving a deep bow . I blinked, surprised as he continued, “Using the excuse that I was too busy, I failed to ensure that proper care was provided to you, thus the fault is mine. I will accept whatever punishment you desire. But my lady... Could you please accept the duke’s attempt to make you feel better, at least?”

I watched aghast as the butler continued to bow and pleaded. “After you left the dining room so upset, he gave much thought to how he could help you feel better. That’s when he remembered that you used to like playing in that attic as a child. You must know that once issued, the duke seldom withdraws his commands.”

He was right. It had been six years since the incident—which occurred not long after Penelope’s adoption—that had caused him to order all the doors on the third floor locked and the rooms prohibited from use. For him to withdraw that order now meant he had been deeply unsettled by the neglect of his adopted daughter.

The butler must have felt there was some hope of changing my mind since I had listened without comment. He bowed again and said, “I have unlocked the doors and cleaned out the attic as best I could. Please don’t be upset, my lady.”

I stared at him expressionlessly. If I were the real Penelope, I’d have been overjoyed at his words. One of the main instigators of her harassment had been fired, and her family was paying attention to her. Her father’s trusted servant, whom she hated, was pleading and bowing before her—she would have been intensely satisfied by this turn of events.

However... It’s too late. I wasn’t Penelope. You should have helped her at least once before I came to be in this body. Stupid, pitiful Penelope would have forgiven them everything. It’s already too late.

The butler caught sight of the devastated expression on my face, his pupils dilating in shock. “M-my lady?” He straightened up, taken aback.

“Well then. How could I ignore such a sincere gesture from my father? I was going out for a walk, anyway, so it wouldn’t hurt to visit the attic after so many years,” I said, wiping the scowl from my face. I donned the mask of arrogant Penelope again, my face betraying no hint that I’d been on the verge of tears. “Lead the way.”

Not all the doors on the third floor had been unlocked. There was a set of large double doors in the corridor still sealed away, chains wrapped around the knobs. That must be the female protagonist’s room. Penelope’s room was very nice, but her room was on an entirely different level only judging by the size of the door. I didn’t find this overly upsetting.

How could his adopted daughter expect to be treated the same as his real daughter? It would be silly to covet such a thing. My companion seemed especially cautious as we passed in front of the doors, glancing behind to gauge my reaction fearfully. I gave no indication that I’d noticed.

He opened a small door at the end of the third-floor hallway, revealing a stone spiral staircase. They led to a turret that was probably built for wartime, but it wasn’t as well-maintained as the rest of the manor, as it hadn’t been used for a long while.

“Watch your step, my lady,” he said, ascending first. I hiked my skirt up and followed carefully. An attic at the top of a small, narrow turret? It’s definitely the kind of secret hiding spot small children love to play around in.

The staircase never seemed to end. When we finally reached the top, there was a musty door. It swung open easily at the butler’s touch, and I followed him inside, not expecting much since the attic was likely little more than a storage space.

Instead, I was met with a fairly impressive room. It was like a small study, one wall lined with bookcases. The far wall housed a fireplace with a cozy couch in front of it, and the closer one held a large, round window. The window was open, and I felt a cool breeze sweep in, tickling my nose.

“Do you like it, my lady?” the older man asked with a satisfied expression as he watched me peer around the room.

“It’s not bad.”

“Shall I bring you some refreshments?”

“No. I’d like to stay here for the rest of the evening.”

“You’re free to do that, of course. The duke has already given you permission to use this room as you like.”

I was happy to hear it. Feeling a little better, I said in a gentle tone, “Thank you for showing me the way, butler.”

“Please don’t mention it. I hope you have a relaxing evening.”

With a polite bow he left the attic. I swept another glance over the quiet interior, slowly wandering inside. “I think I know why Penelope came here so often.” It was cozy and quiet, the perfect hiding place for a girl who’d just been adopted and didn’t understand why everyone appeared to hate her so much.

I went to the large open window and looked outside. The duke’s estate was vast, which meant I couldn’t see the city streets like I had been able to at the hill with Derrick. But there were no buildings to block the view, the broad sky stretching into the distance and the peaceful scenery below. I sat on the floor in front of the window instead of on the blanketed couch. The sun was setting outside, and I gazed out over the horizon as it slowly turned scarlet. Then, I heard a noise—a voice—from behind.

“Huh?”