Chapter 41

Chapter 41

As Lady Dona placed the dessert down, she saw the untouched food in front of me and laughed quietly so that only I could hear. It was clear I hadn’t been able to eat anything. Our gazes met, and I noticed that her eyes were full of mirth. So, you want to have a go at me, do you?

I nudged the smallest spoon off the table before she could leave. It hit the marble floor, the metal clanging loudly. Naturally, everyone in the dining room’s attention turned to me.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. My hand slipped,” I said with exaggerated sincerity, glancing at the fallen spoon. “Would you pick that up on your way out?”

Lady Dona didn’t seem concerned with my uncharacteristic behavior. She was confident there was nothing I could do to her. “Of course. Please don’t worry about it, my lady.”

Would Penelope have thrown the cutlery at Dona’s head and stormed off? No. I knew this would not have been the case. If the butler was to be believed, Penelope had always eaten with the duke, whether invited or not. In my mind, that meant no one ever gave her the time of day outside of these meals.

She wasn’t welcome at family gatherings where they enjoyed cozy conversations, but she’d attended despite how excluded and lonely they made her feel. Making a fuss over some cutlery would have gotten her banned, which Penelope had to have known. She must have struggled desperately to hide her hunger and rage.

If she hadn’t taken part in these meals, she wouldn’t have had any other opportunity to see her family. But I’m not like her. I looked coldly down at Lady Dona, who remained so unbothered I couldn’t help but want to kick up a fuss. Again, the loud rattle of metal on marble rang out.

“Oh, dear! My mistake. My hand slipped again.” The second smallest spoon had clattered to the ground in front of the woman just as she was rising to her feet with the first spoon. Everyone’s attention turned to me once more.

The duke tutted, displeased, “Don’t be so clumsy.”

“I’m sorry. The pudding is so soft, my spoon keeps getting away from me,” I said with a shrug. Derrick’s cold, blue eyes were fixed on me, as were Reynold’s.

“It’s fine, my lady,” the woman said, retrieving the second spoon as well. “Please enjoy yourselves—”

As she rose to her feet and bowed, the last spoon tinkled when I tossed it to the ground.

“Penelope Eckhart,” the duke called, his demeanor chilly.

“What the hell are you doing?” Reynold asked, laughing in bewildered amusement. Derrick frowned and glared. The letters above their heads began to blink ominously.

I shoved my chair back noisily and stood. “I don’t have any more spoons, so it looks like I won’t be able to eat dessert.”

“Sit down,” the duke demanded.

“If you’ve said all you needed to say, I’ll return to my room.”

The duke’s face twisted in rising fury. “You are being impertinent. We haven’t had lunch together like this in a long time!”

“I’m just so hungry, Father,” I said, gripping my stomach in an overly dramatic fashion. The duke and his sons’ expressions turned from furious to puzzled.

“What?”

“I’m not as good at using tableware as a three-year-old, so I couldn’t eat a single bite of my lunch,” I said, peering glumly down at the food in front of me like a disappointed child. None of the food had been touched—even though it was still warm and fresh. If I retired to my room now, the food would be given to the servants to eat. It was likely that foolish Penelope had always starved, while her share of food filled the servants’ bellies. With an innocent smile, I said, “Isn’t that right, Dona?”

“M-my lady...” she said, all color draining from her face. Her confident, mocking air was suddenly gone, and a chilling silence fell over the table. The cutlery was tiny—like children’s toys—and the food placed on the table around me was untouched. There wasn’t even a speck of seasoning on the plate in front of me—it was clear I hadn’t served myself any food on it. I didn’t have to turn to know everyone was now studying my place setting.

“I’ll return to my room and ask Emily to bring me a sandwich. At least I can use my hands to eat that.” Everyone was silent as I turned to leave. “Good day, Father, brothers.”

No one stopped me this time. As the dining room door closed behind me, a hollow laugh escaped my lips. Penelope threatened people with a crossbow, didn’t she? It was silly to think such a vicious girl had been helpless against these shenanigans from the servants. Even so, I found it hard to fault her. I felt such pity for Penelope when I pictured her sitting there, patiently waiting while the others ate, and she starved. Such a pitiful girl.

I went up to my room and retrieved the book I was reading from the bookcase before sitting at the desk. I’d loudly claimed to be hungry earlier, but really I didn’t have much of an appetite. In fact, I was more concerned with how the brothers’ affection scores had been impacted by that little outburst. The last time I was able to see their scores there was no change... It bothered me that I hadn’t been able to study their reactions because all of my attention had been on the duke and Lady Dona.

Their affection score won’t drop because I threw the spoon, will it? I decided to stay calm.

“Well, there’s nothing I can do about it now.” Maybe I was being too laid back, but the Eckhart brothers were never a valid option for my escape, anyway. I could live with a little fluctuation in their affection. As long as it doesn’t kill me.

As I turned my focus to my book, there came two soft knocks on the door. “My lady, it’s me,” called a voice.

“Come in,” I said easily, recognizing Emily’s voice.

She opened the door and entered cautiously, holding a covered tray. “Are you reading?”

“What’s that?’ I asked, staring at the tray. She placed the platter on the table and lifted the lid, revealing a steaming bowl of soup, a steak, and a sandwich arranged neatly. I scowled. The steak was the same one I had been served at lunch.

“The duke instructed us to prepare your meal again, my lady.” It appeared that Emily had heard what happened. She studied me cautiously and said, “Oh, and this is from the butler...”

It was a small brown bottle—the digestive medicine I had requested. “It’s fine. I’m not very hungry. Take it away.” Though I wasn’t sure it was something to be grateful for, eating nothing meant I wouldn’t get a stomachache.

In response to my dismissal, Emily looked distressed. “But you said you wanted some sandwiches. You must be hungry. Please eat something, my lady.”

“I’m fine,” I repeated. “Besides, I ate earlier.”

“You haven’t eaten a proper meal all day. Please just—” Emily begged.

“It’s not like it’s the first time this has happened,” I interrupted irritably, slamming the book closed. “Was any of the food you brought me fit to be served to a lady of the nobility?”

“M-my lady...” Emily clearly had no idea how to respond to my ice-cold fury. I knew I was unfairly taking my anger out on her. After all, she’d worked hard, doing all that was in her power to serve me. I hadn’t actually been unhappy with the meals and desserts she’d been bringing me. I was grateful that I wasn’t starving. Even so, I was frustrated to no end with the situation that I found Penelope—and thus myself—in.

“Take the food and leave. I don’t want to look at you right now.” Emily took the platter and left with a dejected look on her face. I felt like I’d gone too far since she had obviously been worried about me, but I wasn’t really all that sorry. Ignoring the broiling emotions that had been threatening to explode since I left the dining room, I picked up the book again.

However, mere moments later I tossed it aside. “This is so irritating.” I abandoned the desk and flopped onto my bed. I stared mindlessly at the ceiling—luxurious and ornate. What was the use of such beautiful surroundings when the occupant of this room hadn’t even been able to eat a proper meal today?

“Why must I put up with being bullied in this world, too?” I muttered to myself. I was at my wit’s end trying to understand. If it had been anyone but me that had been thrown into this game world, they might have been pleased with how lavish the room was. But luxury didn’t really impress me, since my father’s house had been just as large and lavish.

Ironically, despite living in such a fancy room, I’d always had to worry about my next meal. The bullying had reached its peak after my second eldest brother graduated. Students kept cutting in front of me, causing me to be constantly late for meals, and they’d often purposely bump into my shoulder in order to make me drop my food. Even after coming home, I couldn’t eat right away, despite having eaten nothing all day.

I never forced myself to take part in family meals since they were so welcoming to everyone but me. Me and my stupid pride… In hindsight, it was foolish of me. I should have at least made sure to eat well while struggling to survive in that house. Unlike Penelope, I’d had no maid making sure I ate, as the housekeeper always went home right after washing the dishes.

I’d force myself to wait, my stomach growling, until the others were done eating and everyone was in their rooms. Then I’d sneak into the kitchen to eat some cold soup with rice or mix the leftovers together in a large bowl. More often than not, however, I didn’t even get to eat that.

The leftover food often tasted horrible, since vinegar, sugar, salt, salted fish, fish sauce, and other horrid things had been mixed into it. The younger of my brothers was the culprit, of course.

“You b*tch. Why do you sneak into the kitchen to eat like a rat?”

He’d pop out of hiding to snicker and mock me. I’d suffered from malnutrition and chronic gastritis all the way up until I finally escaped from that hellhole.