Chapter 11

Chapter 11

“M-my lady? What is the...?”

“Elias!” I cried. “Have you seen Elias?”

“Pardon? Oh, the young master is probably in the backyard.”

I left the bewildered knights behind me and hurried to the backyard. I didn’t care how I looked. What mattered was...

“Elias!”

Elias was there, as expected. Yet, so was Jeremy.

To be more precise, they were sitting impudently by the fountain, talking to each other with serious faces.

I was shocked to see them. “Elias!”

Elias turned when he heard me. He jumped up.

Then—can you believe it?—he ran away.

“Where are you going?!” I shouted. “Come back here this instant!”

“N-no,” he called back. “What’s this about?!”

“Elias von Neuschwanstein! Stop right there!”

“Would you, if you were me?! S-stay back!”

Despite having a few years on him, Elias was a natural runner. There was no way I could catch up.

Yet, God must have been on my side. As he was fleeing, the rascal tripped over a root and fell on his face. I ran over and grabbed him.

“Aah!” he cried. “Wh-what’s with you?!”

“What’s with me?” I shouted. “What do you think is with me?! Inquiring minds want to know!”

A strength I didn’t know I had somehow manifested. I pressed down on Elias’ shoulder with one hand as he yelped.

If my late husband could see the way I boldly pulled him up by his shirt collar, he would have made a cross over his chest.

And damn it, my God, there was the proof right there. The boy was barely thirteen years old. His back was still delicate, and there were welts all over it.

“Let g—”

“You... stupid boy. Did you think no one would find out if you kept this to yourself? Why didn’t you say anything? Why did you let this happen?” I could barely suppress my fury as my words tumbled out. “You act so inscrutable and tough all the time. Why have you been letting someone beat you?!”

Elias’ eyes went wide as he struggled beneath me.

Seeing him like that left me speechless.

This kid...

Then I felt a hand on my waist. Before I could do anything, I was lifted into the air.

“If you would calm down—” Jeremy started to say.

“Let go!”

“Wait. Just listen—Aaah! W-wait, Shuri! Calm down, and let us explain!”

“You’re no different, you idiot! Let go of me right now!!”

If my late husband saw the way I smacked his precious eldest son for the very first time, he would have made the sign of the cross over and over again.

Jeremy wasn’t even blocking my blows; he just yelped and took them. He had probably never dreamed that he would get such a valuable experience.

“Agh! I said calm down!” Jeremy protested. “Watch where you’re hitting! Calm down! It’s not what you think!”

“What’s not what I think? You foolish children are hopeless! Do you even know how precious you were to your father? If he saw even half of what I'm seeing...”

“But you’ll leave!”

Elias’ sudden outburst took the words from my mouth. I blinked.

It was only then that I noticed the tears glistening in his scowling dark green eyes. Eyes of a teenage boy.

“Don’t act like you’ve done any g—”

“I-I-I know!” Elias howled. He screamed with such intensity that it was like he was vomiting blood. “I know you didn’t marry our father because you liked him! You’re not here because you want to be!”

“What?”

“I know… you’re always hu-hurting and stuh-stuff because of us! And that y-you hate us and think we’re nuisances! You think... you think we’re wimpy and ill-mannered trash, and so if we don’t change, yuh-you’ll leave, just like our parents!”

Elias finally burst into sobs. I stared at the horrific sight before me. I had never imagined I would witness such a thing.

I turned to Jeremy, who was massaging his back where I had hit him. He cleared his throat and avoided my gaze. It was very unlike him.

“I...wasn’t sure of what was going on,” Jeremy explained. “That fool kept whining that you’d leave, but it’s not like I could deny it.”

“Uwahhh... D-don’t call me a fool!” Elias wailed. “If I’m a fool, what are you, Jeremy?! Wahh...”

“Why not do something about it then, baby brother?” Jeremy sniped back. “You’re the one who came crying to me, you pathetic baby!”

They were up in arms at each other, like two lion cubs, even in the middle of all this.

Meanwhile, I felt like someone had hit me on the head with a hammer. My head was ringing.

Why...? Why now...?

No. Maybe nothing has actually changed. Perhaps it was always like this.

I realized that what was plain to me now could be something my youth had blinded me to: these children were still, indeed, children who had lost their mother and father.

Of course, I couldn’t have known.

I had been as young as them before. Moreover, we had never talked like this. I had no idea what they were thinking. I didn’t know how their personalities were developing.

I felt a mixture of anger, regret, and pity. My heart hurt. I was frustrated with them and angry at myself.

What had I done? I had been so preoccupied with a future that hadn’t even happened yet. In the present, I could already see emotional wounds leaving scars, never to be the same.

Sigh... So I was right to send their uncle away before. I didn’t want to be proven right like this. I made a mistake.

“Did your uncle say all that to you?” I asked calmly.

Elias sobbed, then nodded. His shoulders trembled still.

I sighed. Within, I seethed with rage as I thought of the man who had whispered such awful things to a child.

“Why didn’t you ask me?”

“I... I...”

“Who told you to decide what is true on your own?”

Elias sniffled. Jeremy rubbed the grass with his shoe. The autumn sun made their mussed hair sparkle.

“Listen carefully,” I said evenly. “I do think that you are all self-centered, arrogant, and overbearing children, but I have never once thought you were trash. Do you understand? Don’t pay any mind to what other people say. Moreover, I am not going to leave you. It might happen someday, but not yet.”

These were things I had never thought of before, yet I found myself saying them. I felt Elias and Jeremy’s dark green eyes on me. I took a deep breath.

“Seeing how you believed such ridiculous nonsense,” I said, “I see you do feel some guilt about things.”

Elias hiccuped as he was rubbing his tears with his sleeve.

Jeremy scratched his head and cleared his throat. Then, to my surprise, he relaxed, smiled, and looked me straight in the eye.

“So you mean he was lying? You don’t intend to leave? It was all in our heads?”

O heavenly father! Could Jeremy have any idea? Could this boy smiling impishly in front of me have any idea that he was the one who, at twenty-one years old, sent me away?

Of course not. Even I hardly believed it. It felt ironic somehow. I wondered if I had missed something.

I put my hand on my hip. “Why?” I snapped sarcastically. “Do you want the evil stepmother to leave, eldest son?”

“No, it’s not like that.” Jeremy shrugged with a boyish laugh. “So what if I was groaning and cowering in a corner? Which isn’t like me. For no reason... This is all your fault, idiot!”

“Why are you making it our fault?” Elias hiccuped. “You were worried too, Jeremy! Wahh!”

Wait, ‘our’?

“Is that everything?” I asked.

“Huh?”

“Is this the extent of what you all have been hiding? There’s nothing else?”

“This is all I know,” Jeremy answered quickly.

Elias, however, could not do the same. The redheaded boy avoided my eyes, tugging his shirt hem down as it rolled up.

I had never seen him this shamefaced, not even on the day he assaulted the prince—second in line to the imperial throne.

“Elias?” I crossed my arms.

Jeremy also sensed something was off and squinted at his brother.

Elias lifted his head as if he was about to scream in frustration when he wavered. It was pitiful.

“Rachel...” Elias hiccuped. “The evil grandma that our aunt brought...”

***

A lavish Eastern tapestry hung across the sitting room, the type that was only collected by nobles who had money to waste.

Unlike the sitting room in the main building, this room was used more for private and personal meetings. Lucrecia, Sir Valentino, and I sat facing each other.

Lucrecia and Sir Valentino smiled at me nonchalantly. Lucrecia had apparently been playing hide-and-seek with the twins when I summoned her. Sir Valentino was here to help with his nephew’s training, as usual.

They looked unperturbed as if they expected nothing to happen to them.

I was smiling too.

“I will get right to the point,” I said. “Neither of you have any reason to set foot on this estate after today. I would appreciate it if you could also convey this message to your siblings.”

A brief silence followed.

Neither Lucrecia nor Valentino seemed to have understood me. Or it might be more precise to say they could not believe what had come out of my mouth.