Chapter 179

Chapter 179

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Roxana awoke in darkness. She was not inside the castle. By the smell of wet grass, it seemed like she was in one of the forests just outside of Yggdrasil. She was being held tightly by someone.

“C... Cassis?”

A slightly cold hand touched her cheek as she quietly called out his name. It moved across the side of her face and down her cheek steadily, carefully, and gently. The last thing she saw was her lover running toward her, so it didn’t surprise her that she was with him now.

The Blue Heir’s face appeared hazy to her, a bluish face soaking up the moonlight. She sensed his eyes lower as she looked at him up more closely.

After assessing her current situation, Roxana’s voice came out sounding hoarse. “Was I asleep for long?”

Cassis studied her for a moment before finally answering slowly. “No. It only got dark so early because of the rain.”

Unlike his gentle touch, his tone was quite sharp. She noticed it almost as soon as she recognized him. Even so, she tried to ignore his tone by gently placing her own hand over the one he had placed on her cheek.

“This takes me back.”

She let out a half-hearted laugh as she recalled an old memory—of how Cassis had taken care of her during her initial trip to the Pedelian lands that past winter. She also remembered how he had embraced her after she collapsed from spewing blood all over herself while he was being held captive at the Black mansion a few years ago.

She could hear the faint sound of a drizzle starting to come down from the sky. They were safe from the rain though thanks to the lush covering of leaves they were currently under. The pair were intertwined much like the vines back in the castle gardens to form a canopy-like shelter.

Cassis had taken her there intentionally since he would be able to use his healing ability more effectively outside of the Yggdrasil border. The two had seemingly made a silent agreement not to discuss what had occurred just a few hours prior. Thus, only the calm, pattering sound of raindrops infiltrated their hidden space.

“You... You know already, don’t you?” Roxana was the first to feel the need to break the silence. “Those stones used to lure those monsters toward Yggdrasil... I’m the one who originally brought them.”

His expression remained unchanged as though he hadn’t heard her speak, but his hand soon stopped caressing her cheek.

“I also didn’t actually cause that fire in the Red wing, but I had intended to.” It was a solemn confession. As she spoke, she continued to keep half of her face under his hand. “Now as I did before, I’m simply reaping what I’ve sown.”

Her golden eyelashes tickled his fingers as they swept down and then up once more. She leaned her face even further into his palm. “The truth is... I only brought up those stories about my upbringing during the hearing so that you might... take pity on me.”

It was a shrewd move on her part. In the past, she certainly would not have used such tactics. However, she hadn’t thought it such a bad idea to make Cassis take pity on her given their current circumstances. Should even a shred of pity toward her exist within him, it would be unlikely for him to leave her side easily no matter the cost.

The Agrece finally looked up again and into his golden eyes before whispering, “Do you intend to despise me for who I am?”

He looked at her without answering. His mood seemed to have calmed, but he remained uncertain of how to define the complex mixture of emotions swirling about inside of him. All he knew was that he was furious with himself and the late Lante Agrece alike. And—be it ever so slightly—with the woman who was currently lying in his arms as well.

However, the emotion he felt toward her was something beyond mere anger. The hand she was using to hold his began to shift slightly. The warmth of her touch against his skin reminded him of what Deon had said to him, which only incited yet another tsunami of emotions to blow through him as he stared deeply into her eyes.

“Have I... not given you enough assurance yet?” He removed his hand from her cheek as he whispered his response to her. Although his face was low, there was a cutting tone to it which seemed to slice its way to her through the tiny, echoing sound of the raindrops. “There is nothing you could do that would make me despise you.”

Then warmth began to spread in between her fingers as he interlocked their hands and squeezed them together tightly. Roxana looked endearingly into his golden eyes without making a sound.

“You don’t care that I use other people and kill them without a trace of remorse?”

“No,” he replied without any trace of hesitation.

She bit down on her lower lip as she considered the certainty of his answer. A silk-like touch grazed across her furrowed brow as she tried to bite back her own raging feelings.

“But that isn’t who you are.” The words he whispered into her ear were like a balm specifically crafted to soothe her heart and mind. “You weren’t the one who lured the demon monsters here today. Nor did you actually start the fire.”

It had been obvious from the way she looked while standing outside of the burning building at the time. On top of that, she had selflessly gone as far as to risk nearly sacrificing herself in order to stop the ensuing horde of demons. In fact, the latter was the exact reason he felt slightly upset with her.

“Even back when I was taken into Agrece...” He spoke more slowly as he recollected the distant memory. “You were the one who saved me.” He squeezed her hand a bit harder before going on. “Roxana, you really aren’t who you think you are.”

She had come to be particularly critical of herself, but couldn’t quite tell where or when such self-hatred had taken root in her heart. Thus, he had no choice but to feel a pang of sorrow every time he saw her in such straits.

Cassis softly planted a kiss on her forehead as if to calm her down. He then said the very words to her that she had told him back in Pedelian. “You once told me that I should be proud of the fact that my thoughts never manifested into actions.”

She thought for a moment before chuckling a bit after hearing those words. The burden on her heart seemed to suddenly fade to nothing at all. He didn’t bother to ask her why she had planned to do such things, but he felt certain that she hadn’t intended to commit either act based on pure intentions.

“You know, Cassis...” She finally felt able to speak again after staring at him with a mysterious expression for some time. “If you ever get tired or sick of me, then try to leave...”

His brow stiffened as she continued to speak, but was almost immediately stunned by how she concluded her sentence.

“...I’ll kill you myself.”

To anyone else, such words would have come across as a warning sign to flee at the nearest opportunity. But to Cassis, they sounded more like a sweet, timid love confession. Of course, he had yet to realize that that’s precisely what they were.

She tugged on their interlocked hand until she was able to use the tension to place herself in his lap. As she slowly leaned into his chest, her golden hair fell against it to create a shimmering, honey-like waterfall. He peered down to stare deep into her red eyes as an indescribable feeling stirred up inside him.

“You really are quite unlucky.” Without warning, a smile bloomed on her face that resembled one of the flowers she used to collect with the sweet-smelling poison. “Of all the people in this world, you’re the one who became mine.” Allowing the object of her desire go for their own sake was certainly never her cup of tea. “I don’t think I could ever send you away with well wishes and my blessings for you to find happiness elsewhere.”

Such had always been the case, but it proved even more so in this tender moment. Perhaps the road she was about to take going forward was not the worst she could traverse, but merely not ideal. She wished to rid their world completely of any remnants of her father, but she herself could never completely free herself of him.

The very Agrece she had despised for so long had become an integral part of herself. It was a truth she could no longer deny, and perhaps if she were even more honest with herself, it might prove to be her limit as well. However, she still hoped the man currently holding her so lovingly would stay by her side.

Even if she were to commit an unforgivable crime, she hoped that he would continue to hold her tightly and not leave her. After all, even if he were to wither away like a poorly rooted tree beside her, she had no intention of ever letting him go. In fact, she would be perfectly all right if he met his end in her arms.

“Cassis.” She instinctively knew what needed to be said in order to keep him at her side for all eternity. It was rather unfair of her to use such a tactic on him given their current situation, but she was still Roxana Agrece. She parted her lips once more to say the few words that would bind him to her like an unbreakable chain. “I love you.”

She felt something burst inside of herself as she uttered the sentiment aloud for the first time. It was a sensation she had already experienced a few times already while with him. A feeling that was like a firework that had been lit at the bottom of her heart and was finally reaching the end of its fuse at the very peak. Once again, as she found herself unable to restrain the words now clawing at her throat, she whispered, “I love you, Cassis.”

It was highly unlikely that she would ever make such a genuine confession again for the rest of her life. Being unable to bear the weight of her words any longer, she turned toward him to break the tension. He, however, remained stiff as his frozen lips welcomed hers. Then her sweet, poison-laden whisper snuck through her lips onto his own.

“I want you to stay by my side until death do us part.”

Upon hearing such a finite expression, the waves that had been incessantly crashing behind his chest finally overwhelmed the shores of his heart. “Did you... just...?” He clasped her hands even more tightly as he finally felt the strength to voice his own truth. “You can’t just say things like this! This is… This is so unfair!”