Chapter 81

Chapter 81

The early reveal of Day in the Life episode two had come out of nowhere. As the video began, the first thing viewers heard was the sound of a music box playing.

♬♪♩♪- ♬♪♬♪- ♪♩-

It was TeSTAR’s “Magical Boys.” Because it had been edited to sound strangely warped, however, the notes sounded like a funny background track for a comedy show.

[Plink! Plonk! P-plink! Plonk!]

There were colorful banners at the top of the screen, coupled with close-ups of the TeSTAR members’ dazed expressions as they stared upward.

[※Big Sejin: I’m awake, right?※]

No sooner had he said this than huge captions appeared, which read:

[※↑ This is a pattern that will continue throughout the episode.※]

Then the ornithologist appeared onscreen. A burning hellscape had been added behind his gentle, smiling face through the power of post-production.

[※Ornithologist: You’re going to be filming migratory birds with me today!※]

[※TeSTAR: ????※]

This caption shook violently above the confused TeSTAR members’ heads, accompanied by heavy metal.

[※A bird expert appears out of nowhere! (Psst, he’s not a real expert.)※]

[※And they start taking pictures of migratory birds! (This activity is also fake.)※]

It was obvious that the intention was to make people laugh, but as the scene unfolded, the mood grew heavier.

[※But TeSTAR isn’t going down without a fight!※]

A short clip played accompanied by blinking, red text.

[※Former national archery athlete: I mean, I could shoot them from this distance, but...※]

[※Seon Ahyeon: (Shocked face)※]

After Ryu Chungwoo’s casual comment, the camera slowly zoomed in on Seon Ahyeon, who looked aghast, holding his own camera in his hands. Then the scene skipped suddenly to TeSTAR quickly squatting down, grave looks on their faces.

[※Ornithologist: Let’s approach them quietly!※]

[※TeSTAR: Shuffles forward (they’re serious about getting their pics)※]

The tall members waddled forward like ducks, taking care to not make any sound. There was no background music during this segment.

[※(They’re way too focused.)※]

There was a very smooth shot of Park Moondae lifting his camera carefully and snapping a photo.

[※Park Moondae: (Snap!)※]

But when the camera zoomed out on the scene, it turned out to be Seon Ahyeon, not a bird, that he was taking a picture of.

[...?]

The captions portrayed confusion. Then the video cut to TeSTAR running for their lives, screaming at the top of their lungs.

[※TeSTAR: Oh my god!※]

[※Ornithologist: How interesting, haha.※]

[※TeSTAR: (Unintelligible. They seem to be cursing the broadcast station.)※]

The footage shook about chaotically as the cameraman struggled to keep up with the running members

[※Cha Eugene: Help!※]

The captions flickered, the entire production just as fun as a full-length feature film.

[※Their first variety show filming should have been a peaceful affair.※]

[※But an unforeseen disaster befalls them!※]

[※What will become of TeSTAR?※]

The emcee, who had been blurred out, said in a distorted voice,

[※??: Oh, my... I’m so sorry!※]

Then, large golden letters appeared on a black background.

[Made by an emcee and production team who are serious about their pranks!]

[Day in the Life]

[Day in the Prank Life]

[July 5 (Thursday), 11 P.M.]

The warped notes of “Magical Boys” began to play again and the video ended on that impressive note.

These people... They aren’t normal, either.

“Hahahaha!” Big Sejin was doubled over with laughter and rolling about on the living room floor. He’d been laughing ever since the stupidly garbled beginning notes of “Magical Boys” had started to play.

It’s fun. I had to admit it. Just as with Idol Inc., the editing was piecing together moments that hadn’t really happened, but I’d seen too much of that by now to care anymore.

The episode doesn’t seem likely to cause any controversy, so it should be fine. If anything, the production team seemed serious about getting laughs. It puzzled me still that the agency had sold us off for our first variety show like a bundle deal, instead of gunning for something bigger. But the fans would enjoy this, regardless.

If this does well, we can always aim for a variety show on national tv next time. Deciding to take this as a success, I looked through the internet’s reactions.

- LOL what was that? (Meme of a person being sucked into a black hole)

- What? ROFL

- This is nuts! Hahaha! My god...

- So this is TeSTAR’s first variety show? (attachment)

I clicked the GIF attached to the final comment, which showed a seagull taking a deep breath and firing a laser from its mouth. The lasers were coming out of its eyes, too.

In a sense, this GIF was a very accurate depiction of what was to come when the episode aired. Cha Eugene had resembled this very seagull when the bird’s head had fallen off, revealing the person hiding inside.

“Haha! Our fans are so cute!” Big Sejin said, after getting to his feet and coming to my side to peek at the comments, too. He had a big grin on his face.

Then he touched the screen without asking, playing a video that had come up while scrolling. I was holding a tablet PC provided by a sponsor for our shared use.

I can’t get angry at him.

“Hey, let’s look at this one, too. It’s hilarious.”

“What is it?”

I was forced to read the title since he brought the screen too close to my face.

[TeSTAR Nature Documentary: Park Moondae | Inside the life of Moon Puppy Files| “TeSTAR Tests Out Life Together” EP 3]

I stared. A short five-second ad ended and the video began to play.

[※(Monkey noises)※]

A corny opening sequence featuring TeSTAR, but otherwise seemingly taken straight out of a nineties zoo-based variety show, flashed past. And right after that was... me, wearing a pair of puppy pajamas. Someone had given them to me as a gift and I sometimes wore them when all my other pajamas were in the laundry.

It looks kind of silly on screen. My embarrassment aside, a narrator began to speak in a voice resembling David Attenborough.

[※Wolves in the wild hunt as a pack. They form atomic families and have complex social structures.※]

[※But this is no wolf…is a puppy.※]

[※Puppies have adapted to life with humans, learning the ways of the cold human cities.※]

The screen showed a time-lapse of Park Moondae wearing the pajamas and sitting on the sofa, staring blankly. His housemates moved busily to and fro, but he didn’t move an inch. Even when Eugene and Big Sejin waved their hands in front of his face and sat down next to him to watch TV, he didn’t react.

[※This particular creature has evolved to avoid expending unnecessary energy on social interactions.※]

Hey, I replied when they spoke to me. If I remembered correctly, I’d had some free time so had gotten in a workout session. Then I showered and sat down on the sofa, drained. This stank very much of heavy editing.

[※But like all puppies do, he likes humans—especially those in his pack.※]

“...?”

What in the world was this? Park Moondae could be seen suddenly getting to his feet, then disappearing into the kitchen. Then he reappeared with a bottle of soft drink.

[※Let’s find out if his gesture of goodwill is accepted by his pack.※]

Park Moondae held out the plastic bottle to Chungwoo, who’d been walking past, but Chungwoo declined politely.

[※His first attempt ends in failure.※]

I was just asking him if he wanted some, though. Was it necessary to label that as a failure? Any sound-minded adult would offer to share their drink, wouldn’t they?

My confusion didn’t stop the narrator from continuing to speak rubbish in his baritone voice. Moondae walked into the living room holding the bottle, then handed it over to the ecstatic Eugene and Big Sejin.

The editing zoomed in on the exchange like it was the result of a successful hunt or something.

[※Ah, he succeeds this time.※]

[※The humans thank him.※]

The video ended with Moondae taking back the bottle, now more than half empty, and gulping from it himself.

[※That was a peek at a day in the life of Park Moondae, the puppy of the TeSTAR family found in his natural habitat, Seoul.※]

[※(Dramatic drumbeat)※]

I was stunned speechless. We’d been too busy to film for the reality show recently and now that they’d finished covering our music video filming, this was what they’d been releasing.

Big Sejin chuckled some more. “Funny, huh? You have to admit it is.”

Yeah, everyone sure seems to be enjoying it. The top-voted comment was this:

- LMAO this is perfection

This simple string of words had four thousand likes, accompanied by a thread full of LOL’s and ROFL’s. Everyone seemed to be having a great time. But surely there had to have been people unhappy with this. I decided to look at the other top comments.

- Moon Puppy is the official fursona after all. The Tibetian fox version is just an unofficial alter ego

- Guys, Moondae’s love for his puppy persona has always been real, from his mukbang to his puppy mask and even his pajamas. Let’s be a mature fanbase who can respect his preferences.

- LOL the nature documentary vibes are hilarious! It’s like a puppy went out “hunting” and brought back a plastic bottle!

- Moon Puppy, be our puppy forever ♡

- We of the Tibetan Fox faction won’t forget this outright suppression on the broadcast station’s part... Mark my words, we will return...

└ LMAO

The persona I’d worked on building during the survival show to better my chances of survival had suddenly been twisted. Now people thought I was obsessed with the puppy thing. I could almost hear my twenty-nine-year-old civil exam student soul screaming internally.

Well, what does it matter? People like it. I’d even put on a pair of floppy dog ears at the fansign event a few days ago. It was about time the twenty-nine-year-old man inside me just gave up.

“Moondae, you’re not upset, right? Don’t tell me you are. Oh, right. Let’s be fair and play mine, too,” Big Sejin said, chortling and playing the next video.

The title gave away what it was about.

[TeSTAR Animal Kingdom: Lee Sejin B | The Big Friendly Sejin Bear Files | “TeSTAR Tests Out Life Together” EP 3]

It was basically a special on Big Sejin, showing how he got along well with everyone. It had just the right mix of comedic elements and heart-warming scenes.

“But frankly, yours is way funnier than mine— Hey! Wait!”

Your video came out fine, you asshole. I pushed the tablet toward him and lay down on my bed. I hadn’t had time to rest in ages, so I shouldn’t be wasting it on watching stuff like that.

“Hey, monitor my video with me, too. Don’t just watch yours and go to sleep!” Big Sejin whined.

Monitor? All you did was laugh at my video.

“I’m going to sleep. You should do the same.”

“Hey, we can sleep in the van! You should make the most of having free time!”

There was no way he had a status window, so I had no idea where he got all that energy. I knew he’d only slept three hours last night. That was when my roommate surprised me by lending a hand.

“He wants to sleep. Just leave, okay? You’re making too much noise.”

It was Lee Sejin, who was already tucked into his own bed. It was obvious he’d held off for some time before saying this.

Big Sejin quietly stared at the guy who shared his name, then laughed. “Oh, all right, then. Have a good nap!”

When I looked at him, he shook his head at me, shrugged, and left the room.

Big Sejin looked pretty upset to me. It was obvious he hadn’t made a big deal because the reality show cameras were always on us.

They don’t seem to understand each other very well. They really were incompatible. If we changed room assignments later, we’d have to avoid putting those two together. The moment I thought this, my phone buzzed with a notification.

[Big Sejin: Come out here! We only live once!]

I stared at the message.

[Sleep.]

With that, I turned off my phone and went to sleep. At this point, I was still unaware of what would happen regarding TeSTAR’s first variety show episode.

***

[TeSTAR’s first variety show episode is nuts. LOL]

[Day in the Life EP 2 early reveal (a.k.a. they pulled out all the stops)]

[TeSTAR’s variety show, every moment of which was fake]

The early reveal video, which had featured some ludicrous editing, had become one of the most popular topics of discourse across a vast number of online communities.

- Whoa, this is seriously so good

- Wow. I thought this show was a flop. These guys can turn anything into a success—maybe it’s their experience with Idol Inc.?

- The comments pretending to be worried about the show are all gone now haha

- The fans must be loving this. It’s hilarious already

- Wow I haven’t seen one of these stunts in a long while T_T So these are the kids that debuted from Idol Inc.? They’re cute. I’ll be watching the next episode live!

└ It’s pretty obvious you’re a fan. Stop pretending otherwise

└ Huh? What’s with this guy?

└ Ignore them. They’re an idiot

Not only had a show that seemed destined to fail suddenly turned things around, but it also featured an idol group that had debuted from the hottest audition show of late.

Even better, the video itself was hilarious and thus didn’t need social media platforms or the various fan communities to help spread the word about it.

[The new variety show featuring TeSTAR... isn’t what it seems!]

[This variety show is dead set on fooling TeSTAR]

[TVC’s new variety show becomes a smashing hit thanks to TeSTAR?]

The thumbnail, full of clumsily drawn banners and prank keywords, drew a crazy amount of clicks all by itself.

- LOL did anyone actually look up this video?

And soon enough, it was chosen by the mighty WeTube algorithm.