Chapter 392

Chapter 392

Ryu Chungwoo, who had approached after handing off his microphone, sat down beside me on the waiting room sofa.

“That was a great performance.”

“Right.”

He then asked briefly, “How are you doing?”

I smirked. So he had me all figured out, too.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

My head was finally working again, and in hindsight, the whole mess was kind of hilarious. Who would have thought that I’d get so annoyed by the idea of repeating my first performance. If I was a little bothered by it that would have been fine, but I should have still used it without any qualms since I’m doing this to escape.

[Not true! I think there was plenty of reason to be shaken up about it!]

Is that so? I decided to be honest with myself. I was not the sort of person who was impacted by trivial emotional struggles. And yet I had behaved so foolishly. I could make a guess at why things were different for me this time.

[What do you…]

It was simple.

I was feeling sad and wronged. My first fansite master’s defection had gotten to me. There had been a variety of things that had reminded me I was no longer TeSTAR’s Park Moondae, but this one had destroyed my morale beyond any semblance of reason. It also proved just how attached I had become to that version of reality.

Very attached. I folded my arms.

This is the first time…

[Huh?]

I had to admit it.

I’ve never lost my sh*t over something like this before.

[Oh!]

It wasn’t like somebody had died, or I had been cheated out of my housing deposit, or something like that. And yet, I felt so powerless.

I assured, “This isn’t going to happen again.”

Since it was my first time feeling this way, I hadn’t dealt with it properly. History would not repeat itself, since I now knew how to control it.

[Wow! Okay, what method are you going to use to handle it next time?]

Why is this guy talking like Big Sejin? I replied calmly If I had to do something emotionally unpleasant, and there were no other immediate solutions, I would simply stop thinking about it entirely.

[Oh!]

I will stop thinking about it and just do it, if that’s what’s necessary. If I feel offended to the point that I can no longer act efficiently, I will just quit. That was the fastest way to deal with the problem. It was hard to believe that I had not realized such a simple truth. I nodded to myself.

[Hey… Are you sure that’s a really healthy way to go about it? The way I see it—]

I will do what I please. It’s my mind we’re talking about. Got it?

[Right…]

The pop-up shook. Chungwoo responded at the same time.

“I suppose that might actually be the case for you, but it’s not such a bad idea to talk to people when you really feel upset about something.”

I turned around, and he made a gesture with his hands—the TeSTAR logo.

“We understand each other. You know what I mean?”

I stared.

[You heard him, right?]

I nodded. Chungwoo said no more, simply smiling. I felt good.

Later, we ascended to the empty stage after the audience had left and filmed the finale for the session of filming. From the look on the president’s face, it seemed that he was very pleased with all the performances. The contestants were excited as well, so a rare pleasant mood settled over the group as filming came to a close.

“Gunwoo! I heard that you had some aches!”

Kim Raebin handed me some persimmon juice made by his grandmother, which was supposed to be good for body aches, and then I began to prepare to go home.

“…?”

I had tried to refuse, since Raebin’s grandmother had probably made it for him, but quickly I realized there was a long list of potential misunderstandings that refusing could cause online.

“Oh, do you think it’s too old-fashioned?”

“Do you not eat food that other people make?”

“Maybe you think it’s spoiled because it’s been sitting around while you were filming?”

I simply accepted instead of refusing him. To make sure that there would be no problems with his grandmother later, I would have to make him some food before we filmed next. That was why I could be found carefully putting the container of juice into my bag with my other things. Around me, I could hear the excited voices of the contestants in the waiting room.

“What if we all debut together like this?”

“There are quite a few of us right now… But I would prefer that than being disqualified.”

“So you know what’s profitable for you, huh?”

Cheongryeo had ignored these guys since the start, so it was not likely they would debut.

I wonder what they did in a past timeline that warranted that rejection? I glanced at the two contestants, who looked perfectly normal, then went out into the passageway. The others would be waiting in the lobby. I was about to leave the set when a familiar voice rang from down the corridor.

“Ahyeon! Wait! Please wait!”

“Yes?”

It was Seon Ahyeon and an employee. I heard the employee running off, and then Ahyeon rounded the corner.

Hmm. The moment our eyes met, he immediately approached me.

“Hi! I was going to say goodbye to you before I left, actually!” he said.

“Oh, right.”

I bowed to him, as a contestant should when encountering a mentor with whom he’d had a successful performance. I had expected the president to give more points to the other teams, but he had been surprisingly objective. It was likely that I would remain in the high-tier team for the time being. I couldn’t have asked for more from a mentor.

“Thank you. The performance went well, thanks to you,” I said.

“Not at all! It was thanks to you guys that I got to participate in something so fun!” He waved his hand slightly, blushing. “I’ve almost never done performances using popular songs like this… It was refreshing. Thank you.”

Now, stop thinking. Just say goodbye and walk away. That is how it should end.

Ahyeon spoke to me again, however. “And… There’s something I wanted to tell you. I liked your corrected version better,” he said.

I listened quietly.

“I think you found a better solution in the end. Oh, and…” Ahyeon added in a gentle and cautious voice, “If you want to talk to my therapist… it’s not too late.”

Oh, I should ask him about this. Why in the world was he seeing a therapist in this world?

“May I ask how you started therapy?” I asked.

It would sound like I was moderately interested and perhaps looking to see if the therapist was trustworthy. I even had an answer in mind should he hesitate and take back the question.

Ahyeon responded easily enough, “The therapist was a requirement in my agency’s contract.”

Huh?

“Working in entertainment is always an uphill battle with yourself. Therapy is part of the basic curriculum.”

“Oh…”

So the therapist was part of a benefits package for artists.

Then why did he say that he was also in pain? I observed him, wondering if he was lying. In the real world, it always showed when he lied, but perhaps in this world he was better at hiding it. I noticed nothing that might indicate he was lying.

So it’s the truth, then. He seemed to think that I was debating internally, since he added, “A performer should always maintain both their mental and physical condition.”

“Uh, yes.”

“If you want, I can contact the therapist for you. You will probably… get at least five sessions for free.”

It was the smile on his face that made me realize what was going on.

I see. He mentioned being in pain on purpose. He had been trying to create rapport with me so that I would talk about what was making me so gloomy and perhaps relax around him.

I can’t believe I didn’t notice that. I looked at him uncertainly.

Wait… Does that mean he is perfectly healthy right now? He was receiving all the care he could get and working on advancing his career.

[Y-yeah, it does seem that way…]

Yes. He was doing so well that he was even capable of offering help to strangers that seemed to be in trouble. The tension immediately drained out of me.

Oh, come on.

“It’s all right… A friend already recommended a therapist,” I said.

“Oh, I see.”

It seemed that my groundless speculation had gotten out of hand. My thoughts had gone in that direction because I had been faring poorly. Clicking my tongue, I did away with all my assumptions.

He smiled and said, “Why don’t we stay in touch?”

“Sure.”

I gave him my number without hesitation. It would have been pretty silly to have refused him, unless I was looking for a fight.

Once he leaves the country with his ballet career, it’s unlikely that I will meet him again in this world. I could see him once I returned to the real world—though I wasn’t sure that he would welcome returning there himself.

I can worry about that after I get him in a draw. Worrying about him when I didn’t actually have him in my party was pointless. I immediately stopped thinking.

This is the sort of control I want over my thoughts. It seemed to be going well. I shook his hand out of habit, like I usually did with people in the industry after exchanging numbers, then nodded.

“I’ll be on my way, then. See you again,” I said.

“I’m not your mentor anymore, so we can talk more informally.”

You never give up, do you? I didn’t think you’d force me to do this.

“All right… Ahyeon. See you,” I said with less ceremony than before.

Ahyeon smiled brightly and nodded. “Yes… If you ever feel like you need someone to talk to, feel free to contact me.”

“You’re being very generous considering we only just exchanged numbers,” I said.

A dazed look settled over his face for a moment, then he laughed quietly.

“Oh, I just felt like it.”

Too nice for your own good, as usual. And so I ended up getting Ahyeon’s number without even having to get him in a draw.

[Seon Ahyeon (older than me)]

I did have to save him like this, however.

[Oh, Gunwoo! The lobby!]

“Oh.”

Right. I immediately went out to the lobby after parting ways with Ahyeon. Somebody stopped me before I even got to the entrance.

“Gunwoo! Going home?”

It was the two people on my team in the recent team battle, Judan and Chaeyul.

“Yes. I’m on my way home.”

I had too many conversations with too many people today, and the fatigue was starting to catch up to me. But I stopped, since I couldn’t just ignore them after performing with them that same day.

I wonder if they are going to talk about our performance? They bowed their heads to me.

Jin Chaeyul said, “Thanks for being such a great leader, even though you weren’t feeling well. We will try to be even better teammates next time.”

Judan added, “Especially if we debut together.”

“Yeah! More so if we debut!”

Surely they hadn’t been pleased with my condition as we prepared our performance, but here they were, thanking me. In addition, the corrections that I’d implemented had required very careful expression that would’ve been a challenge even for idols who had already debuted.

It would have been challenging for them to keep up, since their stats were not at their full potential yet. And yet they hadn’t complained, working hard to keep up. They seem pretty determined.

I said, “Good work. I will be healthier the next time we do something together.”

“Okay!”

I had to admit it, they were people worth working with. I looked at Jin Chaeyul, who was grinning broadly. Perhaps my old fansite master would only watch our performance because of him, but it was good that anyone on our team was liked by someone. It was better than no one watching my performance at all.

“The performance was great, too. I had a lot of fun. Thanks,” I said.

“Haha…”

“Me too!”

I didn’t have to force myself to stop thinking. Surprisingly, I felt pretty comfortable right now.

“I hope it airs on TV soon! Why don’t we watch it together?”

“No, I don’t think…” I said.

“Oh… Sorry.”

“That’s not what I meant. It’ll probably air during our next filming session.”

“Oh!”

I laughed it off. I was going to have to debut with these guys. Somehow I got the feeling that it wouldn’t be so tough living with them.

By the time I actually set out for him home, the guerrilla concert episode of Wise had already finished its premier.

Time to check in on what the public has to say. I had avoided my phone for a while, so it was essential that I check in at this point. I immediately accessed the internet and was promptly confused.

- The Ryus are crazy! The Ryus are crazy! The Ryus are crazy! The Ryus are crazy! The Ryus are crazy! The Ryus are crazy! The Ryus are crazy!

- I have found the perfect combination—Ryu Gunwoo, Chungwoo, and Woodan. They look so amazing with Jung Woodan added in

- Ryu Chungwoo the fox, Ryu Gunwoo the husky, Chaeyul the Arctic fox… We have decided to call this the puppy face spectrum

- Thank you so much for choosing to become idols… We love you

I had expected to be catching some pretty harsh criticism for bias and unfairness at the moment after getting rid of the nightclub guy. But it seemed everybody was celebrating, already having forgotten about the disqualified contestant. There were even a bunch of accounts that were now using the contestant’s faces as their profile photos. It almost seemed like the viewers were prepped and ready to transform into Ryu Chungwoo fans and hold up encouraging signs for him.

Huh? I immediately opened up a search engine.