Chapter 364

Chapter 364

I turned around. The members were all sweating or staring with their mouths agape. I looked at the TV again. On the screen, each of the members were carrying out secret instructions. They were shown in quick succession.

[I’m the thief?]

[Ryu Chungwoo: So I win if nobody finds out until we leave the village…]

[Lee Sejin: Hey, this is easy. It’s not like anybody saw me stealing it yesterday. Heck, not even I knew.]

[Seon Ahyeon: Hmm. Yes. I’ll do my best…!]

Captions appeared on a black screen.

[Nobody]

[Told you that you’d stolen the carrot coins…]

The viewers burst into laughter.

- LMAO

- ??

- So the real culprit is Kim Raebin, but they made them believe they’re the ones who did it? LOL

- Wow that is demonic

- Okay I’m struggling to keep up now

There was dead silence in the room, the TV the only sound. The director was speaking, however, with diabolical cheer.

[Bae Sejin: But I didn’t do anything last night… I don’t understand how I could be the one who stole the coins.]

[Director: There is an even better prize waiting for you if you can deduce how the culprit stole them last night!]

[Bae Sejin: Oh, I see. It must have been…]

[LMAO]

The writers and directors were shown doubled over and doing their best not to make any noise as they silently laughed. However, the members who had been given their important missions didn’t notice because they were busy reading the notes.

[The heroic outlaws (fake)]

[It’s a free-for-all!]

Lee Sejin winked at the camera.

[Lee Sejin: Guys, please don’t hate me for this. It’s just a variety show!]

In real life, Lee Sejin punched himself in the thigh silently. The other Sejin also had his fists balled. Nobody tried to stop them.

[It’s a breathtaking battle of wits]

[Seon Ahyeon: W-we have some yarn… Would you like me to make something? Maybe we could sell it.]

[↑He’s feeling guilty]

[Bae Sejin: Uh… That’s amazing and all… but shouldn’t we find who did this first? That’s what the production team told us. They were obviously telling us to find whoever did this.]

[↑ Relying on his acting skills to carry him through the guilt]

[Kim Raebin: What if the thief tries to hurt us?]

[↑ Imagining being the victim]

Captions with arrows floated around, providing additional explanations, and the viewers howled with laughter.

[Ryu Chungwoo: (Instantly) That won’t do.]

[Seon Ahyeon: (Instantly) Yes. It can be dangerous…]

[Lee Sejin: (Instantly) Yeah. It could be dangerous.]

[For some reason, they are all in agreement]

I was the only one on the screen who didn’t seem to understand.

[Park Moondae: (Is that right…?)]

[↑ Has no idea what’s going on]

Damn it!

- LOL

- Why didn’t you tell Moondae? The production team is so mean T_T

- I pity him LOL T_T

Unlike the real-time viewer chat, which was filled with laughter, there was not a single chuckle to be heard in the living room. I cracked my neck, and I practically heard the others flinch.

[Ryu Chungwoo: Maybe we should first help do some work and earn some coins. In the meantime, we will look into the matter and see if we can find out who the thief is. I’m sure there are hints somewhere.]

[Kim Raebin: (Relieved) That’s… that’s a wise decision.]

[Each person is scheming]

On the screen, the members were desperately trying not to be found out.

[Lee Sejin: Don’t you think the culprit must be in one of the houses we went to on the first day, while doing our tasks?]

[Kim Raebin: I think you might be on to something!]

[Bae Sejin: That’s worth looking into.]

Lee Sejin continued to throw out misleading clues about the culprit that sounded pretty reasonable on the surface. Naturally, they were all met with enthusiastic agreement. He was shown in an interview, laughing.

[Lee Sejin: I’m pretty good at this sort of thing, you see.]

“Oh god.” Big Sejin didn’t seem to be able to raise his head in the living room.

Ryu Chungwoo appeared next on camera.

[Park Moondae: I’m going to the village hall.]

[Ryu Chungwoo: Of course. I’ll come with you.]

[↑ Planning to keep an eye on him]

“I was just trying to help,” Chungwoo said, taken aback, but nobody responded.

As it happened, Ahyeon was shown on the TV setting fire to the meat by accident when he heard somebody guessing about the culprit nearby.

[I-it’s on fire?]

[???: Oh my god!]

There was an interview taken later that night as well.

[Q. Was the chaos intentional?]

[Seon Ahyeon: No…]

Ahyeon covered his face with both hands and hung his head. He was doing something similar in the real world, too.

What a mess. Let’s see now… Suppressing my anger, I came to a difficult conclusion.

Each of these bastards thought they were the thief. They were hanging their heads now because they were ashamed of themselves. However, I was the one feeling the most embarrassed right now. At least they had gotten to feel like they were fooling everyone.

Wait. I had just realized that one of the members didn’t seem affected at all.

Cha Eugene. An explanation showed up on screen.

[And as for this young man…]

[The American grandson]

Eugene was shown standing with the cameras around the production team, looking as glum as he did now in real life. He suddenly spoke.

[Cha Eugene: Hey, I know the truth.]

[Director: Sorry?]

[Cha Eugene: There are plenty of culprits other than me. I’m not the thief. The director and writers lied to me.]

[!!!!]

You…

“Did none of you know? I knew,” he said.

“…!”

“H-how?” Ahyeon asked.

“Nobody wanted to find the culprit. And everyone was trying super hard because they felt guilty!”

He knew… and I didn’t?

[The production team is desperate]

[Director: If you don’t say anything, we can buy you meat!]

[Director: We will pretend it’s a prize and give you Korean beef!]

A slow motion effect was applied as Eugene replied.

[Cha Eugene: Okay!]

[That was easy!]

“Hey!”

The members on either side of me were indignant.

“You sold us out for beef!”

“I didn’t sell you! We ate the meat together!”

“I could have bought that meat with my own money!” Bae Sejin shouted, upset, from the other end of the sofa.

[The production team chose an MVP]

[Bae Sejin]

[↑ An incredible actor]

Bae Sejin choked.

[Q. What is your resolve going into this?]

[Bae Sejin: First of all, I am going to thoroughly inspect my own character… and think about how I would act if such a thing had really happened.]

Bae Sejin sounded serious, and captions appeared above his head like a stamp.

[I will be playing myself!]

“Pfft!”

Bae Sejin’s perfect control of his emotions and immersive acting was shown on the screen, half in admiration and half tongue-in-cheek.

[Bae Sejin: We need to find the culprit first… Though eating is important too, of course!]

[Bae Sejin: If they have a conscience, they would turn themselves in right now!]

[He sounds so genuine!]

[He meets his first crisis]

Crisis? The scene changed again. The video was slightly shaky and tilted to the side, in addition to being low-resolution. It seemed like somebody had taken it with a smartphone. Bae Sejin and a pale-haired person were walking in front.

Wait, don’t tell me…

[Bae Sejin: Who was it that took the coins from us? Everything happened because of that.]

The pale-haired person could be seen smiling, only the side of his face visible.

That’s me, damn it!

[Park Moondae: It’s obvious, isn’t it? It’s probably someone from inside our group.]

The captions made a huge fuss.

[!!!!]

[Has he figured it out?]

I felt my mouth go dry.

- No way

- Did Park Moondae figure it out?

Please, enough with the guesses…

[Bae Sejin: Y-you mean… it was one of us?]

[He’s tense]

[Park Moondae: Yes.]

Bae Sejin then asked that question.

[Bae Sejin: Wait… Are you telling me this because you think it’s me? Because whoever does it needs to act, right?]

[Is he turning himself in?]

F*ck! F*ck! I hung my head. I was still talking on the TV screen.

[Park Moondae: No. I don’t think it’s you.]

Shut up, you idiot!

[Park Moondae: (Confident) You seemed too flustered.]

[ROFL]

- The puppy takes an L haha

- His nose betrayed him this time

- LOL Bae Sejin is so relieved. That is hilarious

- Park Moondae is probably so embarrassed right now

The captions exploded with laughter, and the viewers were greatly amused. It seemed I wasn’t done talking.

[Park Moondae: I actually suspect someone.]

Stop!

[He points out Lee Sejin!]

[Congrats! You got… 1/6 of the answer right!]

“P-Park Moondae…”

Fireworks exploded on the screen, and more captions appeared.

[Park Moondae: It’s just a suspicion. Let’s not tell anybody.]

[He’s so smart]

Sons of b*tches.

- ROFL

- Park Moondae is the variety show magician! He’s indispensable!

“Well, I-I was afraid I’d been figured out…” Bae Sejin said.

I said nothing.

“Sorry! I mean, it was just for the sake of the show… I had no idea they were filming! It’s not like I enjoyed doing it!”

After I left, however, he was shown doing a little victory dance on the screen.

[A ceremony for his perfect crime]

The Bae Sejin sitting in the living room with me clammed up. I turned around and saw that he had his face buried in the floor. The screen had gone dark, and more words were appearing on it.

[By now you’re probably wondering]

[Why was Park Moondae left out?]

Cut it out already.

[Here’s the rest of the story]

The production team were shown in a meeting again.

I wish I could go and teach them a lesson.

[Writer (Park): I’m a bit nervous.]

[Director: About what?]

[Writer (Park): About Moondae.]

A writer wearing a facemask was speaking in a grave tone.

[Writer (Park): If we instruct the members to all be culprits, Moondae might catch on to us. That wouldn’t be good.]

[They fall silent]

[How will they deal with this six-star threat?]

After a heavy silence, the director suddenly gave a suggestion.

[Director: Just leave him out, then!]

[Writer (Lee): What?]

[Director: Just leave him out! He can be the innocent bystander this time!]

[LMAO]

[Solution: Leave him out]

There was silence in the living room, save for the production team’s loud laughter blasting from the speakers.

[Writer (Lee): You’re right. We can do that!]

[Director: Let’s get ‘em good!]

[Writer (Park): Yeah!]

“LOL” filled the screen, followed by virtual fireworks.

[So that’s how it happened!]

[Park Moondae was the only non-thief]

[Congratulations on being found innocent, Moondae!]

The way I stupidly fell for this massive charade was shown in various scenes.

“M-Moondae, take a deep breath,” Ahyeon said.

Scenes from all five episodes had been included, and it seemed endless. Instead of ending my suffering, they even inserted my “POP☆CON” dance from the village hall.

[This dance confirms he is legit]

The screen blurred, and massive letters appeared on the screen.

[The Park Moondae Truman Show is a success!]

[Sponsored by: The entire TeSTAR group and Munggye]

“M-Moondae? Moondae?”

“He’s completely out of it!”

You bastards.

***

After the shocking twist in the final episode, The House Next Door’s Grandson became a hot topic… in more ways than one.

- Who could have thought all of them were the spies?

└ You forgot one person (Park Moondae was excluded)

└ LOL that only makes it funnier

- The production team is so diabolically fun LOL

- You really should see the way TeSTAR reacted to the episode. The look on Park Moondae’s face was priceless

- They were all thinking that they would finally be caught when Kim Raebin was shown to be the real one, and it’s hilarious. The entire twenty minutes are a highlight!

TeSTAR had become the biggest idiots in the industry.

Especially me. Me! F*ck! The meticulous production team sent us gifts the day following the final episode, making it seem as though all was forgiven already.

[Here’s a TeSTAR family photo taken in the photo studio in the village (including Munggye) :)]

I could never forget the sense of defeat I felt as I uploaded the picture to social media.

Big Sejin, whom I had refused to talk to for an entire four days, hovered nearby me and said, “Moondae, how are you feeling? That was a bit harsh, wasn’t it? Perhaps we can work with a different production team next time…”

“No. We’re going to work with the same people again,” I said.

“Wow! That’s so Moondae of you!”

“And next time, I’m going to make sure they beg for mercy.”

I’ll destroy them.

“R-right! I will help you with that! Of course, I will!”

“Yeah.”

My eyebrows twitched as I stared at the group photo in the living room. The sight of it never failed to piss me off, but the photo itself had done nothing wrong. Besides, there was one person in the photo who was totally innocent—the puppy.

I stared at the white puppy. Quite a few of the members had wanted to bring him back with us.

“If we leave Munggye here, someone might show up and steal him away!” Big Sejin had said.

“Well, since he was on TV, it’s a definite possibility…” Chungwoo said.

“Phew…”

Keeping the puppy in the dorm was not an option, however.

We have our tours… and we’re gone too often. I had no idea how Cheongryeo managed to keep a dog. Thankfully, we had quickly discovered a solution.

“Uh, my mother wants to keep it…”

“…!”

As it happened, Bae Sejin’s mother had been looking for a dog. Bae Sejin’s photos and texts, along with the first episode of the show, had convinced her to adopt it.

“That’s good. We could go see it from time to time!” Big Sejin said.

“Uh, yeah. Right.”

Bae Sejin had seemed doubtful about inviting Lee Sejin to his house, but he had agreed to let us visit whenever we wanted.

Perhaps I’ll suggest it one of these days when we’re on vacation… He had said he would bring the puppy to the dorm every now and then, which wasn’t a bad idea.

That aside… A coolheaded and calm assessment of the situation confirmed that we had accomplished everything we’d sought to do through the variety show. Not only had we generated buzz, but the viewer ratings had been pretty good, too.

7.1% for the final episode, I think. This was very good as far as ratings went, considering that it was a cable TV show. In other words, it was about time I looked into how my plan was unfolding.

Time to see how they’re doing. After looking into Miry-nay’s situation, I opened the status window.