Chapter 331   We’d only been allowed to pay one another compliments during the mountain composition camp intended to encourage Kim Raebin. Everyone had been willing to laugh things off even if one of the members who was a beginner at producing created something awful. The goal was to have fun, after all. But if the camp was related to our work, that all changed. A good example of this was a cautious suggestion made by Bae Sejin. “Uh… In any case, ‘Promise’ is the song that won the daesang. Why don’t we use that as a basis, and work on a series based on that?” “That’s a reasonable suggestion!” Raebin said. The feedback offered for Bae Sejin’s idea didn’t remain so pleasant, however. “Yes, I suppose it’s a good idea to base our new song on the song that performed best. Though that song won a daesang, overseas reactions weren’t any better or worse.” “I-is that right?” “He’s right. I think overseas audiences will like something like ‘Drill,’ with more impact,” Big Sejin said. “Yeah! I’m against the idea!” Eugene said. Their feedback was instantaneous and brutal. “Okay… We don’t have to go with my idea!” “I like it, though. Too bad, Sejin,” Chungwoo said. “Ahem. All right. What do you guys think we should do, then?” No one delivered any real criticism, but if an idea was rejected by the majority, we quickly moved on from it. “Any more fresh ideas?” “I have a unique one! I’ll use MIDI and electric noise to create a robotic concept—” Raebin began. “Boo! Cheesy!” Eugene said. Never mind. At least one of us is very vocal with criticism. “Cha Eugene, all you ever do is complain! You need to come up with your own ideas! You have such a terrible attitude!” Raebin said. “Okay! I’ll say something. I like transforming heroes!” “We did that during Idol Inc. And if we do a soundtrack, there will be too much overlap in concept. That won’t work.” “Oh…” Boo yourself, why don’t you? In any case, most of the members were sensible in this way. We moved past any ideas that didn’t work incredibly quickly, meaning our brainstorming speed was unprecedented. “We’re coming up with too many ideas at once. Let’s put the data into a table. We can broadly summarize the concepts that overseas audiences liked the most, and pinpoint the core elements necessary for a superhero movie soundtrack,” I said. “Okay! You’re going to make it, right, Moondae?” Pushing the work onto me, huh? Smooth. “Sorry, Moondae. I guess I’ll have to learn how to do that sort of thing,” Chungwoo said. “It’s fine. You do plenty of work already.” It had taken us only half a day to come up with the characteristics we needed to aim for in our next concept.  

1. Intense (superhero movie-style)

2. Unique (TeSTAR)

3. Familiar (American)

  I rattled off the details without pausing for breath. “Based on a powerful action beat, it should be familiar to American audiences while also having a uniqueness that is all TeSTAR.” There was a brief silence. “Wow…” We’d come up with a request that we’d probably have cursed the agency for if they’d requested it of us. But it had to be done. This was how the entertainment industry worked. “Now let’s center our ideas around these points… And talk about the concepts and songs we want to try.” “Right…” The passionate meeting that had seen us debating back and forth without rest for hours seemed to finally enter a lull.   “My throat hurts…” “Eugene, try to whisper from now on, instead of shouting. You can’t perform with a hoarse voice at our concert, can you?” Chungwoo asked quietly but firmly. I checked on the others. Raebin’s doing fine, for starters. He was basically the elite member among us when it came to this sort of work. All right. Moving on. Big Sejin has good sense, too. He was actually showing far more talent now than he had during the composition camp, which hadn’t been serious. He was skilled at collecting the good ideas and guiding the group discussion. And Eugene gives the meeting energy. When he opposed an idea, he did it without reservation, but without insulting anyone. It kept the meeting moving. We’re a pretty good team. The members weren’t just coming up with good ideas—they weren’t discouraged even by rigid requirements, and all offered useful input. Once we arrived at the composition portion of things, an unexpected member had something exemplary to add to the discussion. I was talking about Bae Sejin. “Speaking of America… Why don’t we add elements from American literature?” This was an approach nobody had thought of yet. “American literature?” I have a good feeling about this. I asked him immediately, “Do you have any specific ideas in mind?” “I was thinking about Edgar Allan Poe…” “…!” Edgar Allan Poe was a pioneer of mystery and horror literature in the US. “You know, a bizarre concept. His novels have a very distinct vibe and are famous…” “Wow…” The member’s encouragement seemed to bring a blush to his cheeks as he said quickly, “Do you know The Black Cat? It’s one of his novels. It’s chilling, and it has a twist… Isn’t that the sort of unique concept that TeSTAR is going for?” “…!” “I-I think you’re right!” Wow. As a voracious reader, he was very good with symbolism. So classic horror literature, huh? Not bad. Most importantly, Raebin’s eyes were already glittering. “If the concept works right, I think we could use it to make some amazing rap lines. I’ll write this down.” “Okay…” It was essentially the first time Bae Sejin had ever suggested an idea on the producing side of things. He’s surprisingly good at this. He looked dazed but proud, apparently not having expected his input to be welcomed like this. Chungwoo laughed and concluded, “So it needs to feel like a Hollywood movie, based on American classic literature, while also fitting into our universe?” “Let’s go with that for now,” I said, rubbing my chin. Frankly, I don’t think this is quite enough. It lacks a little… oomph. I supposed what mattered was that we had decided on a direction. We can work more on the key points while working on the soundtrack. I hadn’t actually insisted on this retreat in order to produce something of high quality right off the bat. It had been more about checking the producing capabilities of each member, and encouraging everyone to get involved. I wanted to see if our label can function properly. Our group was halfway to independence at this point. Once we become an independent label, we’ll have more say in things. Some of the members definitely need time to get used to that. Most of the members were doing well. They were all talkative and cooperative. As for Chungwoo, I don’t have to worry about him. He’s good at arbitrating. I was of the opinion that almost everyone was just fine. After taking a second glance around the room, however, only one member stood out as different. “Seon Ahyeon.” “Yeah…?” Essentially all he’d done today was react to what other people were saying. “I wanted your opinion on what we have so far,” I said. “Yeah… Th-this all seems really good!” “What seems good?” He flinched, but he said slowly, “H-Hollywood movies… have a lot of mass appeal. I-I think it’s good to incorporate classic books… They add depth.” “Okay…” When asked directly like this about individual topics, he would provide feedback that was pretty useful. The problem was that he couldn’t keep up with the others when it came to giving feedback—arguably the most important part. He’s bad at presenting his ideas. He was fantastic at giving expression to an assigned task, but he’d always been weak when it came to unique ideas or thoughts. What was more, he didn’t even try to fight when he came up against opposition unless there was some moral issue involved. He always preferred to listen to other people’s ideas because he was nice, and this made him miss the timing for giving his own input. In other words, when it came to things like this, he put in his vote alongside the others but added nothing useful. He knew this about himself, too.   “Ahyeon! Don’t you have any opinions?” “N-no. Not yet.” “Hmm. Okay!”   After this interaction with Eugene, he’d hung his head. I sat down next to him. “It’s okay to go slow,” I said. “Yeah…” He didn’t seem to really agree with me, but he nodded in agreement for now. I liked that. He’s got a bit of pride in him. So he did feel like he was being outdone by the others, at least a little. There was room for improvement. “What’s with the low mood?” “…!” Big Sejin laughed and butted in. “Did Moondae tell you off, Ahyeon, because you didn’t have enough ideas?” “N-no…” Ahyeon said, reacting after an awkward pause. He did seem to have felt that way. “Don’t worry about that sort of thing! We have so many members who are good at producing. Just enjoy it, Ahyeon!” This didn’t have any effect on Ahyeon’s mood, of course. “Th-there will be moments when I-I have to do this sort of thing myself…” Big Sejin said with a grin. “Moondae can do it for you!” “…!” “Moondae, aren’t you going to produce for Ahyeon later? When he does something solo?” “S-solo? Me?” Ahyeon said. “Yeah! I’m sure we’ll do subunit songs and solos later, too!” He’s craftily avoided the depressing wording of “when the other members serve in the military.” I grinned. “Of course, if that’s what he wants.” “…!” “See? You can take it easy,” Big Sejin said. “Yeah…” Ahyeon smiled faintly, then stood up with a far more relaxed look on his face. “Th-thanks.” “Don’t mention it.” Based on the look in his eyes, Ahyeon hadn’t lost his desire to try, at least. He did feel a little better about himself at least. “I-I’m going back to my room.” “Okay.” “See you tomorrow!” The retreat seemed like it was coming to an end for the day. A few members had already left. Ahyeon looked deep in thought as he followed the others out of the suite’s living room. Big Sejin said nothing until Ahyeon was gone. Then he said, “You always pay a lot of attention to Ahyeon.” “He’s one of our members,” I said. “Hmm. Is that right?” Big Sejin added casually, “Moondae, you do realize that Ahyeon does amazing once the producing portion is done, and he always brings it?” I knew that. Even so, I wanted to allow him the chance to grow more. “We should really focus on doing better ourselves, instead of worrying about other members who are the same age!” Big Sejin said. “Yeah.” In reality, you guys are younger than me. I endured Big Sejin’s snickering as he thumped me on the back. He’s still fine, isn’t he? He had plenty of energy left. If I said something stupid right now, I would probably regret it. Thinking to myself that I’d have to consider finding time tomorrow to tell him some of my truth, I stood. “Where are you going?” “Bathroom.” I just got an unexpected text, as it happens.   [The concert was so amazing. It was the best T_T]   I stared at my phone. It was Big Moon.   [Did you follow us on tour?] [Yes! I mean, it was hardly even a trip. I made time on the weekend, and I don’t regret it at all. I felt so good afterward…]   He certainly had enough money to afford coming first class every time. I tried to guess his current wealth, then shrugged. It didn’t matter how he used the money, as long as he didn’t end up losing it to a fraud scheme or something. I got a few more texts.   [Can we video call? I have something I’d like to check.]   Hmm. There’s something going on, isn’t there?   [Yeah. Give me a moment.] [Okay!]   I went into the small room Chungwoo and I were sharing, where he was working on his laptop. “I need to video call with Ryu Gunwoo for a bit,” I said. “Hmm. All right.” I’d considered finding myself a different room, but that would only make me seem more suspicious. This room was mine. If he was in here, he would probably prevent any of the other members from coming in, even if they were curious. I guess it’s pretty reassuring to have someone who knows about what’s going on. “Can I say hi, too?” he asked. “If you want.” I called Big Moon, and it was answered immediately. “Hello!” “Gunwoo… You keep talking like I’m Gunwoo, and not the other way around,” I said. “Oh, sorry… Are you outside the dorm?” “Yes.” I would allow no unexpected incidents like last time. “How have you been?” “Just fine.” Big Moon adjusted his tone to be less formal immediately, and I tried to get right down to it after asking him how he’d been, too. “Why did you—” Chungwoo spoke from behind me then. “Moondae?” Why was he asking if it was okay to talk again? I’d already told him he could say hello. “No, that’s not it… Sejin wants to say hello, too.” “…!” “Bae Sejin, not the younger Sejin.” I turned around and saw Bae Sejin standing outside the door, looking slightly nervous. Chungwoo seemed taken aback. “He says he knows the guy… Is that right?” he asked. Are you kidding me? I looked at Bae Sejin, who cleared his throat. “Uh… You must video call him often? I thought I’d say hello, too.” “Uh… Yeah.” If I agreed, more useless lies would probably have to be created. I tried to think of the best way to extricate myself from this horrifying situation. “What are you guys all— Huh?” Big Sejin, who’d seen us gathered at the door, had come over. I hung up right away. “Moondae, your call—” Bae Sejin said, gasping. He seemed to think I’d done it by mistake. “Oh,” I said. Big Sejin laughed incredulously. “You were on the phone? I thought you were going to the bathroom.” “Someone I know called me,” I said. “Yeah?” Big Sejin looked at Chungwoo and Bae Sejin, then shrugged. “Do you all know this person?” “Oh… He helped Moondae when he was little,” Chungwoo said. “Oh! Okay,” Big Sejin said. “You know, the guy Park Moondae has been looking for since last year. He… Oh.” Bae Sejin clammed up as he realized he’d probably misspoken. Sh*t. He seemed to have thought that Big Sejin would know about that, only to realize Big Sejin probably didn’t. It didn’t help me at all. “In any case, I happen to know the guy, too…” Bae Sejin said. “Oh… right.” Big Sejin said nothing. An awkward silence that I couldn’t quite explain fell between us. “Why don’t we go and get some rest? This is Moondae’s room,” Bae Sejin said. “Y-yeah.” Bae Sejin looked at me guiltily, and I shook my head. He said no more and left the room with Chungwoo. “Sejin, we should go,” Chungwoo said to Big Sejin. Big Sejin massaged his shoulder instead of responding. He seemed about to turn away, only to stop and say, “This is hardly fair… is it?” He sounded upset. “It isn’t even the first time… You all seem to know something I don’t.” F*ck. It wasn’t surprising he’d misunderstood. “Not everybody does. It’s not like that. The situation…” “If you say it’s hard to explain, why does everyone know? Even him—” Big Sejin seemed to be referring to Bae Sejin, but he abruptly fell silent, saying no more. Talk, I thought. Thinking quickly, I finally managed to think of something to say. I spoke as calmly as I could manage. “What I mean is—” “Park Moondae, you sure seem confused. But don’t you feel sorry at all?” Big Sejin said. The words flew out of my mouth. “It’s not like that.” “Yeah? So why…” he began, as if he was about to spit something back at me. But he took a deep breath instead, visibly calming himself. “Actually, I’m not… Now isn’t a good time. Later.” “Wait, you—” “Later,” he muttered in a voice that sounded less upset. He turned and left the room immediately, and moments later, I heard the front door bang shut. Bae Sejin muttered from the hallway, “Sorry…” God damn it.