Chapter 301

Chapter 301

T-Holic’s Show Business was the type of studio variety show that had been made obsolete for the most part by more modern variety shows. In more recent times, variety shows that used editing to create interesting situations were popular. But with T-Holic’s type of show, only the really funny ones survived.

“Oh my god! Haha! That’s hilarious.”

“Wait, what is it?”

“Do you know what Wonseok just said to me? ‘Do idols these days all look like that?’”

The impersonation was very good, and even the staff burst out laughing.

The member who’d just been named replied with a bit of embarrassment, “Hey, I’m not the only one who was surprised.”

“What? But you’re right.”

“Didn’t you know? If we’d debuted these days, we wouldn’t have stood a chance. Guys, let’s always keep that in mind. Be humble.”

“Don’t say that! We deserve some credit for being born in the right era!”

“Stop it! You’re making me sad.”

They began laying the humor on thick as soon as the cameras were running. They certainly presented themselves as seasoned variety show professionals, and that in itself became their on-screen character, perhaps because they were famous for being idols—be that generosity on the audience’s part, or just a bias.

That’s why it’s hard for any guest that comes by themselves to do well on a show like this. They’d created the show themselves, and they hogged the spotlight. That meant any guests that appeared would have to depend on them in order to survive on the show. These guys had also debuted a long time ago. Most guests found themselves in a situation where they were talking to their seniors in the industry while on the show.

“Wow. I didn’t know there was even another generation after us millennials!”

“You’re so cute, guys.”

Willing to do what they could in order to make the mood, T-Holic would usually naturally set the guests up for success, and the result online would be as follows.

- Wow, T-Holic is making things so easy for the guests LOL

- I’ve never seen them look so comfortable on a show before T_T Thank you, T-Holic! ♡

- Any group would be able to do well on this show, even if they’re shy on other shows

The moment they took that momentum for themselves, the guests were reduced to nothing but props. That wouldn’t be the case, however, if the guest in question didn’t give a damn about who was the more seasoned professional.

“I’m not that cute! I prefer cool!” Eugene suddenly shouted, raising his hand.

“Huh?”

T-Holic’s mouths fell open, perhaps never having experienced such an energetic—if that was the right word—rebuttal.

Just as I thought. Eugene didn’t really know much about T-Holic. No matter how much more experienced they were than he was, he would simply chat with them as he always did, and it wouldn’t really look rude coming from him since he was a foreigner.

“I-is that right?”

“Yes! I’m a tiger!”

“I see. Our new friend Eugene is a tiger.”

“That’s right! T-t-tiger!” Eugene swapped into English.

“T-t-tiger!” repeated one of the T-Holic members, nodding.

“Hey, don’t try and follow the kids so you can look cool,” said another.

Most people wouldn’t criticize Eugene for acting like this, since he was well known for being very American-style.

And as for the rest, these guys will take care of it. T-Holic was used to making the mood jolly—it was practically habitual for them—so they were almost physically incapable of being solemn or clumsy with Eugene.

We also have another member here capable of toning things down a bit if necessary.

“Cha Eugene! They were complimenting you! Just thank them and be done with it!”

Of course, I was referring to Kim Raebin. He had tried to whisper, but keeping his words quiet was no use, since he was wearing a microphone.

“I accepted their compliment! I didn’t turn it down!”

“You said you weren’t that cute! You might start coming off as rude if you’re not careful!”

“I just meant I was more cool than cute! Thank you for saying I’m cute.”

“Oh… Right.”

“No, we understood what you meant! We got you!”

“Thank you so much for understanding!” Raebin said. “We’ll try to put our best foot forward today.”

“You’re really serious about this show, aren’t you?”

Eugene and Raebin bowed to them, and T-Holic quickly followed suit. It was all pretty funny, to be honest.

They’re making a good impact there. I noticed how a few of the T-Holic members who’d backed away smiled and exchanged glances. They seemed to have come to the conclusion that it would be fun if they made it seem like they were struggling early on in the episode.

“All right, then! TeSTAR is cute, cool, and all-around amazing!”

“Hehe.”

“Is this a Gen Z thing? I think we’re getting old.”

“Hey, we’re all in our thirties. In our industry, we might as well be dead.”

T-Holic was painting the scene in a way that suggested they were struggling to keep up with the newer generation, but trying nonetheless. They were fully taking advantage of Eugene’s energy.

The focus is still on T-Holic. TeSTAR was currently a very popular idol group, and now they were being depicted on the show as TeSTAR’s opposite. In the midst of all this, I was maintaining my role as a quiet, reasonable person.

“So, Moondae, you’re the main vocalist.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Oh, that’s right! I loved the way you sang my song, ‘Party in Me.’”

“Don’t lie! You were serving in the military at that time!”

“I heard it while I was on leave!”

“Oh, that’s really flattering. Thank you,” I said.

“Yeah! Moondae is great at singing!”

They requested I sing something short for them, so I did, and they clapped dutifully. In other words, I did all the usual things an idol promoting themselves on a show like this would do.

T-Holic was probably starting to get a feel for us by now.

They’re probably beginning to think I’m pretty normal, so they’ll continue treating me like they are now. They’ll look to the other two members for humor.

Because they were used to filming this sort of show, I was sure they’d come to this conclusion pretty quickly.

And it seems unlikely they looked into my previous variety show appearances before inviting us here. The most they’d probably looked into was our recent activities and how well those had gone, probably. The more thoroughly they believed I was a chill sort of guy, the better.

“Now then! That does it for the introductions!”

They seemed to think they’d gotten plenty of laughs out of Eugene and Raebin for now, and moved on to the next segment, which was, for all intents and purposes, the main attraction. This was a really funny segment, which usually involved playing some games.

I recalled in the past they’d played basketball without a ball, had chairs that sent people flying into a ball pit, drawn portraits with their feet in order to guess who it was meant to be, and so on.

“This is the second track of Show Business! It’s time to play a game where we reveal our true feelings!”

Given that this was the main corner, I’d been able to make a few guesses about the type of games they would propose. The most likely one is…

“And the game that we’ll play with TeSTAR is… Words of Persuasion!”

Yes. Right. I’d nearly choked upon hearing the name of the game—it couldn’t be helped, since I’d heard it before.

Good thing I did my research. When I’d seen it for the first time on WeTube, I’d nearly spat out the water I was drinking.

“Hey, drink plenty of water, Moondae.”

Yeah, thanks. I drank the water Raebin handed me and listened as T-Holic went about what they did best.

This is what I was expecting to see. This corner had appeared every three episodes or so recently. The audience loved it, and I’d known they’d roll it out when a top-tier idol arrived.

[Words of Persuasion!]

The title might have suggested something involving persuading others, just like the trait I’d had in the past, but this was slightly different from that. The youngest T-Holic member held a voice-modulating microphone, adopting a rather serious tone.

“Each team will choose a statement and try to persuade the other team. The game ends when one team is persuaded by the other’s logic. A terrifying penalty awaits the losing team.”

“We’ll play a mini-game and the winning team will be the first to pick a statement. Now, good luck.”

The description of the game might have sounded pretty ordinary, but T-Holic always rigged their games. The trap would be revealed after the mini-game, when each team’s statement was revealed.

“Tada!”

[Your team’s goal for next year]

[Receive one billion won VS be stranded in a remote location]

“…?”

“Hahaha! This is nuts!”

“Guys, welcome to Show Business!”

There wasn’t the slightest semblance of balance between the two options. And T-Holic, who had won the minigame, elatedly chose the former.

“One billion! One billion!”

“You’re stranded, Gen Z! Time to deal with it!”

Now, one might think that the resulting game would be boring, since the guests were about to be pummeled into the ground. There was a second trap in store, however.

“Guys, you’ll recall that the instructions were that we must use logic.”

“Hey, don’t tell me…”

“Yes! The team that gets persuaded with the most believable logic wins!”

In other words, this wasn’t an ordinary discussion—it was a battle to see who sold the better snake oil. The goal was to submit to the other team’s claims graciously—in other words, doing one’s best to be as absurd as possible in one’s defense while also accepting the other person’s words.

In order for T-Holic to win, they would have to allow themselves to be persuaded by the claim that it was better to be stranded at some remote location instead of receiving a billion won. TeSTAR, on the other hand, could simply accept the natural claim that one would take the money over being lost.

“Hey, this isn’t fair!”

“Why not?”

Whoever came up with this did a great job. T-Holic was making a fool of themselves and entertaining the audience that way, while allowing the guests to have an easy win.

As expected, they’re taking the top WeTube comments into account.

- I think it would be fun if the team that gets persuaded wins haha

- This game is so good… Please bring it back over and over again!

As was the case with new companies in general, T-Holic’s production team seemed to focus excessively on communicating with the audience. It was commonplace to see the top comments from a couple of episodes ago reflected in the show’s content.

That was why I’d taken a look at past videos and tried to guess what curveballs might be in store. And I’d hit the nail on the head. It was obvious how things would go down from here.

“Huh? Uh… You know how windfalls of huge amounts of money can actually have a negative impact on people. But if I want to retire now, I can avoid those negative effects. I think taking a billion is the way to go!”

“That’s right!”

“I don’t want to retire! I want my career to last a long time!” Eugene said.

“All right. What should you do, then? Well, what do you know? The other solution fits the bill perfectly!”

“We’ll take the billion but not retire! The money won’t destroy me. Our members are strong!” Eugene replied.

“Wow. The way he talks… He’s so full of energy…”

“But money is a scary thing at times, you see! We’re not saying you shouldn’t take the money, but…”

T-Holic would act like they were nervous as they made their silly claims and poked fun at the guests, who were supposed to be the reasonable ones. And after they’d gotten plenty of reactions from the guests, they would cave and generously let the guests win.

But that’ll be exactly what they want. We’re not here to let you use us like pawns. I grinned.

I know the best way to play this game. It was simple. All we needed to do was support the other team’s logic, which was probably what the entire production team expected of us. Following that reasonable path was exactly what T-Holic wanted. So instead, we were going to do the opposite. I rested my hands on the table and intertwined my hands.

“Excuse me.”

“Yes, Moondae! The floor is yours!”

“I’ve done my best to understand and accept your statement, since it’s necessary to win, but…” I declared solemnly, “I’m afraid the statement that we received is the right one. There’s no going around it.”

“…?”

“I believe our team would choose to be stranded over one billion.”

“Wait, what?”

“Wh-what is that supposed to mean?”

I replied gravely, “We can gain lessons more precious than money by being stranded somewhere.”

“What?”

“What lessons?” Eugene asked quietly, tapping me on the shoulder.

I replied to him in clear tones, “Realistically speaking, we’re likely to be stranded in a place from which we’d be rescued in a few days’ time, at most. In the meantime, we’ll have new experiences.”

“Oh! That’s right!” Eugene nodded immediately. “Then I’m fine with being lost! I like the idea!”

“…?”

T-Holic’s youngest member, who had taken the role of emcee, interrupted. “Wait! You’re going to lose the game at this rate!”

“We can’t give up our values for a single game.”

“Wait, you have… values? About being stranded?”

“Guys? I’m really starting to feel a little scared now…” T-Holic’s youngest member seemed somewhat cowed by this confusing turn of events.

Raebin supported my argument with a serious nod of the head. “I agree with him.”

“What?”

“That’s right.”

“Yes. We’ve actually been stranded before while filming for a variety show.” Raebin’s eyes glowed as he continued. “And we learned a lot of things from that.”

“Wait—”

“I made the title track of our last album while we were stranded. Choosing the money over being stranded, I’m afraid, would be the same thing as abandoning musical accomplishment and choosing money instead!”

“Wait, that’s not how this goes!”

Raebin, momentarily forgetting that this was a variety show, began to express his opinions earnestly. I’d expected this to happen once he’d started thinking about the logic deeply enough.

“Hey, wait… Guys, think about this. It makes no sense. I mean, being stranded?”

“How much money are you being paid, exactly, that you can shrug off a billion won like this?”

I raised my hand. “Speaking of which, the title track that Raebin composed back then allowed us to make more money. You might even say that being stranded might be more lucrative…”

“Oh!”

“I see.”

“Please. Could you not respond like you’ve been persuaded?”

The set descended into chaos, just as I’d planned.

***

A few days later, on a weekday, the graduate student grinned when she saw Moondae’s photo in a thumbnail.

“Wow! He’s coming out on this show, too?”

She took a look at the teaser for T-Holic’s Show Business, which was on the trending page. Precisely a minute later, she was spitting out her mouthful of coffee.