Chapter 240

Chapter 240

Big Sejin seemed a little taken aback, but he quickly hid his confusion and grinned.

“Oh. Looking for something?”

“No. I switched rooms with Bae Sejin,” I said.

“Switched… rooms?”

“Yes. Just for tonight.” I sat on the bed opposite his. “We need to talk.”

A flash of anxiety appeared across his face, but he replied easily enough. “Uh… about what?”

Your attitude, you bastard, I felt the urge to say, but resisted.

I can’t talk to him like that unless I’m looking for a fight. Instead, I sat with my hands clasped together and began saying what I needed to.

“First of all… thanks. I heard you went through a lot while I was in that coma. You dealt with the agency and the hospital, right?” I continued calmly, “I don’t think I’ve had the chance to tell you this in private… so it’s only right that I do so now, even if it’s a bit late. Thanks for caring.”

He looked like I’d slapped him in the face.

“And thanks for being so worried about— Are you crying?” I asked.

“Huh? N-no… actually, yeah.” He cried shamelessly, his eyes rimmed red, “It’s just because of how touched I am!”

You look more relieved than touched, I thought.

Not the reaction I was expecting… It seemed as though he’d really been having a difficult time of it over the past few days. He seemed more relaxed, if embarrassed, and his laugh seemed more genuine.

“Well, this is kind of embarrassing.”

Well, I’m glad that you’re feeling a little better. I folded my arms.

“Nothing to be embarrassed about,” I said. “And by the way…” There was something I needed to hear from him, too. “Are you angry with me about something?”

“What…?”

“It’s been quite a while since you stopped protesting against anything I say and started flat-out agreeing with me all the time.” I tapped my fingers against the corner of the bed. It didn’t feel great seeing him tense up again, but ripping the band-aid off now was probably better than letting the stress build up and explode at a later point. “We should talk about this while we have the chance. If you were upset that you were the only one to apologize when we talked about the concert—”

“Is that really what you think?” he snapped. “I mean… I didn’t think before I spoke that day. I was just trying to be cautious, is all!” he suddenly said with a casualness that was very forced.

That is definitely not the truth. His temper had flared just a moment ago, and he was now trying to cover it up.

I told him exactly what I thought. “I don’t see it that way. I understand you want to avoid an argument, but we shouldn’t let this drag on—you avoiding giving any suggestions of your own and holding back around me.” I tried not to sigh. “What I mean is, I apologize for suddenly trying to put together a solo concert when the team’s situation wasn’t great—”

“I told you that isn’t the problem,” he said with gritted teeth. He had reached the end of his rope. “Park Moondae, do you think I’m a sociopath or something? You think I was upset because you were trying to organize a concert? That I was worried it was going to cause problems for the team?”

Well, weren’t you?

Big Sejin took several deep breaths, as if trying to put a lid on his temper. Then he adopted a calmer tone of voice, “Did it not occur to you that I was worried because you’d been in a coma only days before?”

“Well, I did consider that was part of the reason.”

“Yeah, maybe you did. But it’s more like you believe I was upset because this might cause issues for our group. Isn’t that right?”

I didn’t know what to say to that. I’d never heard him be so blunt with anyone before. He seemed to be gaining momentum since he was almost ranting now.

“You’re like this every time you get hurt or there’s some kind of controversy. It’s true that I’m very serious about my career. Yes, I want us to be successful. But even I worry about my friends,” he said. “Aren’t we friends? Don’t you consider… Oh, I don’t know. Honestly, even if you couldn’t be part of TeSTAR anymore, I just wanted you to wake up. And then when you finally did, I said something awful to you. As if you hadn’t just… just…”

Big Sejin seemed to choke on his words. I suddenly understood why he’d acted the way he had. He’d just been scared. His close friend had nearly died, and not only that, we’d then argued. He just wanted to be careful after that.

He took his slip of the tongue… extremely seriously. And he thought of us as very close friends. It suddenly hit me then. Lee Sejin was still in his early twenties—he was at the age most people spent wasting their time in college. Since he was always there serving as my timely backup, I’d mentally held him to more rigorous standards unconsciously, like he was really a coworker who was my age. I’d interpreted his actions from a professional point of view and on what he stood to gain by them.

I… made a mistake. I’d been cruel.

I hesitated for a moment, then nodded at him, saying gravely, “All right. You were trying to be considerate, but I took it the wrong way because I was also worried. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not like that…”

“No, that’s how it was. And… you are my friend. I’ve never considered you anything but.”

I thought of the status window and all the questions which remained unanswered.

“I was… just in too much of a hurry to see results. I’m sorry. It’s not the solo concert I’m apologizing about—I’m sorry for hurting your feelings.”

Big Sejin nodded without a word, but I could see the tears dripping down his face and onto the bed. Despite this, my heart felt a lot lighter.

I lay down on Bae Sejin’s bed. He would probably be very shocked to learn what was happening right now.

This is like a scene out of a web novel… We weren’t in a web novel, so who would have thought I’d find myself assuring him that I was his friend and that he would end up crying about it?

Of all the things… It was quite embarrassing, but it also meant a lot to me. Though we might feel a little awkward, the air between us felt a lot more comfortable now. We were both silent for some time, giving Big Sejin time to calm down.

He forced himself to adopt a cheery voice, “Wow. I’m really embarrassed now.”

“Well, how do you think I feel? This isn’t even my room.”

“Yo, don’t even try it. I’m the only one who cried!” Big Sejin said with a grin.

You were crying a few minutes ago, and now you’re smiling?

“By the way, Moondae,” he said.

“What?”

“Why are you in such a hurry?”

I didn’t know what to say to that.

“I don’t know if I should say this, but we’re past the point of worrying about whether we’re going to make it, right? We can take it a little slower, can’t we? We’ll still be TeSTAR… after the five years are over.”

“I’d like that,” I said. I could admit that easily now. At the same time, I remained aware of reality. “But there’s no way to be sure about the future. I might really want that now, but that doesn’t mean we’ll actually be able to pull it off. There are so many… unpredictable things in life.”

He stared.

“I just want to do everything I can right now so that we can still be a group after five years.”

I couldn’t go into details, since they were almost in the realm of fantasy, but this was the clean, honest truth. Big Sejin gave a short sigh, and then an incredulous laugh.

Wait… a laugh?

“Moondae, do you really work for the National Intelligence Service? I mean, you just sound so much like a secret agent!”

Kind of late in the game for you to be asking me that now. I shot him an incredulous look, and he cackled.

“I thought you’d lost your memories? Sometimes, though, you talk about past events in a whole lot of detail. You know that, right? And the thing is, the timeline of all the things you mention doesn’t really match up. Isn’t that odd?”

Nobody had asked for details about the real Park Moondae’s life over the past two and a half years, so I’d forgotten all about that particular cover story. It seemed that I sometimes let down my guard and spoke about my life as Ryu Gunwoo. I started to sweat.

F*ck.

Big Sejin didn’t ask any more questions, though. He just lay back in his bed. “Well, everyone’s got their secrets, I suppose. But still… Feel free to tell me if you ever feel like it. I’m really good at keeping secrets, did you know that? Friends like me are super rare!”

I stared at him dryly from where I was lying on the opposite bed. Given his practical personality, he probably had no clue I was living a life that involved a status window, time travel, and the like. The most he’d probably guessed was that I was lying about my age or something.

But still… It made me feel oddly comforted, for some reason.

I grinned. “Sure. I’ll tell you one day, if I can.”

Perhaps after all the status abnormalities were over, we could have a few boys’ nights and I could tell him while I was drunk. And maybe he would believe me.

I added jokingly, “Please bear with me until then. I need your cooperation.”

He was silent, though there were clearly complicated thoughts going through his mind. Then he said slowly, “You mean with your secret agent business?”

“Hey!”

“Haha! Okay!” He was grinning and being playful, but I could tell he was making an effort so our conversation didn’t end on an awkward note. “Hey, Moondae, it’s already midnight! We need to sleep if we’re going to have any energy during practice tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

Flicking my hair out of my eyes, I got up to turn out the lights.

“Wow, you’re turning out the lights for me? I love my temporary roommate!”

“Get some sleep,” I said.

“Yep.”

The lights went out in the double Sejin room. We slept without exchanging another word, but I knew that starting tomorrow, there would no longer be any awkwardness between us. One of the side effects of our sleepover was that Bae Sejin returned to his loitering in the living room in the evenings with a rather disappointed look on his face.

I guess I’ll have to consider doing this for him every now and then.

“Here are your outfits!”

“Whoa!”

“C-can we really wear this?” Ahyeon asked.

“Considering their reactions in the past, I’m sure the fans will like it!” Raebin said.

“I agree!”

Preparations for the concert were going perfectly, and soon enough, the day of the livestream was just around the corner.

***

The big day arrived. The talk concert hosted by Park Moondae, where he would be joined by the other TeSTAR members as guests, was titled “As the Heart Takes Us.”

The graduate student was sitting in front of her desktop at home, not in her lab for a change. Her life was a constant haze of anxiety about her future, since people were always telling her that a master’s degree was actually harder than a PhD. This was one of the rare moments she had set aside to just bathe in endorphins.

“I’m so freaking excited…”

It felt like it had been forever since she got to enjoy watching Moondae on her screen without any concerns. She’d been so emotional when she’d learned he had recovered after the hellish eighteen days he’d spent in a coma. The strength of her emotions had almost crippled her, but she felt better these days. She was simply excited now.

It’s a talk concert, so it shouldn’t be too taxing for him! And she loved the excited vibes in her fandom.

Moondae must be looking forward to this, too. Grinning, she exchanged a few eager texts with her fansite master friend and logged onto the platform where the concert was about to be streamed.

I need to be a member if I’m going to write in the chat! It was a less popular platform, one she wasn’t used to, but the user experience was smooth and the company behind it seemed benign enough. She wasn’t repulsed by having to sign up. Even if she hadn’t wanted to make an account, she would have gotten over it because she needed to participate in the real-time chat for this concert no matter what.

He probably won’t see my message, but I still want to encourage him! She wanted to tell Moondae how relieved she was that he was better, and how thankful she was that he’d come back to them in good health.

Wow. I’ve completed my transformation into a fangirl! she thought. Her fansite master friend would probably have shaken her head if she heard her thoughts. Her hands poised and ready on the keyboard, she waited for the concert to start.

Before long, a rainbow appeared on the dark screen, and a countdown began.

- 3333

- Love you, TeSTAR T_T

- LOL so many people

- A fundraising concert! Amazing!

- Three!

- YES! Chungwoo!

The chat flew past, and the screen came to life, accompanied by exciting classical music. On stage, there were seven chairs, the same scene that had appeared on the concert poster. This meant that TeSTAR hadn’t arrived yet.

- Wow

- Where’s TeSTAR?

- Are they not here yet?

Are they going to come out now? I bet Moondae will come on first since he’s the host. Clapping her hands against her knees with excitement, she peered at the screen.

A voice began to speak.

[“Welcome to our interactive talk concert, everyone.”]

“…!”

It was Park Moondae.

- Moondae!

- I only hear his voice

- Where is he?

“Oh! So he must really be coming out first!”

The graduate student quickly typed out, “Love you, Moondae!”

[“Before we begin, we need you to cast your vote.”]

Words appeared on the huge screen behind the stage.

[TeSTAR is…]

1. Cool

2. Cute

“…?”

The graduate student stared at the screen, her eyes wide.

What in the world? The real-time chat was also filled with question marks and laughter.

Park Moondae continued to speak calmly.

[“Please type ‘hashtag’ and your number in the chat. Your responses will be tabulated and displayed on screen.”]

[“Please select… as your heart takes you.”]

People quickly typed in their answers.

- #1

- #2

The moment they did, numbers began appearing beside the two answers on the screen.

[TeSTAR is…]

1. Cool (25)

2. Cute (31)

The screen was responding in real time.

- No way!

- I can’t believe they’re using this tech at a concert! LOL

And so, an online talk concert for the twenty-first century began.