Chapter 18

Chapter 18

“Wow! I’m so nervous!”

“I hope we get lots of screen time.”

The assembly hall in the dormitories echoed the loud voices of many sweaty teenagers. They’re so energetic. It was surprising only because it was late at night and we were all dressed in uncomfortable uniforms, sitting in hard metal chairs waiting to start filming. I supposed none of them was likely to show it even if they were uncomfortable, given all the cameras watching us. That was how I felt about it, at least.

I was currently enduring Goldies #1 and #2 along with Big Sejin bothering me with their chatter. Apparently, they’d grown bored of just talking amongst themselves.

“Moondae! How do you feel about the first episode coming out soon?”

“He’s ready to become an audition legend!”

“Incredible, Moondae!”

“Give it a rest…” I said. I couldn’t believe I had to put up with their sh*t. I desperately needed a cool drink. Oh right. We have drinks.

I noticed that sports drinks had been placed next to every seat, the brand clearly visible to the cameras. Apparently, the show had finally won a sponsorship. I’d never heard of the brand before, but what did that matter? I opened the bottle and gulped down the contents, only to very nearly spit it out. No wonder they were sponsoring the show—it tasted horrible.

“The countdown is starting soon! Everyone together now, starting from ten!” shouted a staff member. The logo vanished from the screen projected at the front of the room, replaced by a number.

“10! 9! 8!”

Everyone cheered and applauded when the countdown ended and the melody of the theme song “Shining Star” played in the background. The long-awaited first episode was finally airing.

***

Since the pilot episode was so special, it was two hours long. That meant that the contestants weren’t able to move from our uncomfortable, metal chairs for one hundred and twenty minutes unless it was in service of some sort of reaction for the cameras.

I didn’t think anyone minded all that much though since only one thing mattered to them at this point in time—how much screen time they got in the episode. Many of the contestants were no doubt left disappointed in the end.

How did I feel, you might wonder? Here’s a brief summary of what happened in the first episode, along with the reactions I found online afterward. The episode opened with screenshots of critical articles, top comments, and various other internet reactions displayed on the screen. Then came the captions.

[※Countless scandals!※]

[※What really happened during the filming of “Relisted! Idol Incorporated?”※]

The viewers’ reactions at this point in the show were the usual fare—that is, nasty comments.

- They’re really using the negative backlash like that on the show? Oh, the lows these cable companies will stoop to lol

- This leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

- This is boring as all hell. Just move on already

Thankfully, the opening scene didn’t last long. They cut to footage of the first contestant.

“Oh! I’m so nervous!”

Well, well. Choi Wongil. Wongil’s team evaluation, with the other members from his agency, was the first to appear in the episode. He also got quite a lot of screen time as the stereotypical youngest member of the team. If I remember correctly, Wongil wasn’t the first contestant from his team to perform, it was somebody else.

This first contestant didn’t get any screen time during the rest of the episode, either. I guess we won’t be seeing him again. This was generally how things went. The production team had already chosen their favorites. Some of the contestants didn’t even appear in brief clips as reactions.

The funny thing was that the contestants who were on my team got quite a lot of time on screen. Starting with Choi Wongil, Big Sejin, Goldie #1, and Goldie #2’s auditions were all shown before the first part of the show was even over. I like where this was going. It was good that the audience would have a favorable impression before the team battle had even started.

What matters most, of course, is how much air time I get. Unless my evaluation had been cut entirely, the pattern suggested that I would be in the first episode. And thankfully, my audition was next.

“Next contestant, please!”

I was shown near the end of the first half of the show. It felt odd watching Park Moondae climb up on stage, almost like I was watching a different person entirely mimicking me. Big Sejin and the Goldies slapped me on the back and shook me excitedly, not giving me the time to appreciate the moment.

“Hey look! That’s you, man! You see?”

“Yeah… that’s me, all right.” Stop shaking me around, or I won’t be able to see anything at all. Of course, I couldn’t say that out loud, so I answered as curtly as I could manage without appearing rude and turned my attention back to the screen. The judges were talking.

“Yes. Hello. Could you please introduce yourself?”

“I’m Park Moondae. Nice to meet you.”

As soon as Park Moondae finished his greeting, they cut to my interview. Obviously, some effort had gone into the editing—probably a good sign.

[※Q: Do you have anything you’d like to say to the camera?※]

[※Park Moondae: No. (Silence)※]

[※Park Moondae: I don’t have much to say.※]

The background track didn’t have any laughter and the clip was accompanied by an awkward sound effect.

Where are they going with this… I was pretty sure the clip played had been my answer when the production team had asked if I was uncomfortable with any of the members of my team. Why had they edited it like this? It made me instantly worry that the direction they’d taken with the editing wasn’t in my favor. I don’t like this.

The judges appeared flabbergasted on the screen, their confusion only magnified by the editing.

“Wait, is that it?”

“Yes. I don’t have any other experience in this field that is worth talking about.”

As soon as I’d finished saying this, it cut to the interview again. The caption on the screen read:

[※Park Moondae: (Prior to appearing on this show) I have no experience in the entertainment industry.※]

[※Q: Have you ever received any training?※]

[※Park Moondae: No.※]

It had been about then that I’d realized that I was in deep sh*t. I’d intentionally made my responses difficult to cut, fearing they’d edit out part of it, but I hadn’t known they’d simply leave out ninety percent of it. The internet reaction was pretty savage.

- Dude looks bored, IMO. Could try a little harder

- What is he trying to do, exactly?

- Why’d he appear on this damned show if he wasn’t even going to try?

- Either he’s going to be frustratingly bad or just plain funny

The judges' shocked whispers were all individually subtitled.

“Oh, looking at his application form, he really does have no experience.”

“Indeed.”

Flashes of grim expressions on the faces of the contestants who’d already been evaluated went by, as they whispered to one another. I wondered where they’d cut that footage from. The next bit was displayed with some on-screen captions that made the judge’s words seem almost sarcastic.

“Well, then. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

“Okay.”

Park Moondae took the microphone, and the music began to play. The first verse was about to begin when the video abruptly ended.

[“Ding! That’s the sound of your water purifier making ice!”]

It was an advertisement, the mid-program ads that were typical of cable TV.

“What the heck!”

“Don’t worry, Moondae.”

The guys sitting nearby fussed over me excessively, exaggerating their reactions for the camera.

“Are you all right?”

These guys haven’t even appeared in the episode yet and are worrying about me? They seemed overly sensitive to the room’s mood, no doubt because they were being filmed.

I said calmly, “I’m fine as long as I made it on air.” I was talking total sh*t, though. No matter how well I’d done, it was pointless in the end if the editing was against me. But no… I grinned inwardly. I don’t think they want to kill me off.

The ad had been placed in the middle of my audition, which meant they didn’t mind cutting—whatever followed the ad was sure to satisfy the viewers. The short ad was over quickly, replaced by a replay of the show’s intro once more. At this point in time, the entire internet had been taking a dump on me.

- I’m not really curious about what happens next. Why’d they put an ad there?

- Give some screen time to guys who are actually good, damn it

- This idiot’s a hard pass for me

- I guess he thinks he’s too cool for this or something. I hate looking at him already

The comments fell silent for a moment as Park Moondae began to sing.

“I remember who I’ve always been”

The judges’ eyes went wide and the contestants raised their heads in shocked surprise in a flurry of scenes montaged together.

- ?

- The hell?

- What the?

- Why is he so good?

- LMAO, he’s actually good

Frankly speaking, I was just as taken aback. I actually sound really good. Thanks to the magic spice of a good edit, I looked like some sort of genius vocalist who’d come out of nowhere. The vague hand gestures that couldn’t even be called choreography had been cut together so well that I actually looked competent. It seemed as though the editors liked me far more than I had expected them to.

Though I’d already guessed they were trying to set me up for a twist with the negative edit earlier on.

“As if every day is a party, ooh”

Mewdy clamped a hand over her mouth at the high notes toward the end. I don’t think she did that during my evaluation. They’d made a mess of my interview, but they were making up for it with this. While I watched on with trepidation, the internet underwent a rapid change of heart.

- Holy cow, he’s good

- Okay, he deserves to be on the show

- Those high notes were godly

- Damn his voice is beautiful. LOL I don’t know what to think

- I haven’t seen anyone sing this song so well in such a long time T_T Park Moondae, was it? I’m buying his stock

The production team even slotted in a short moment of silence following the performance.

“Thank you for listening.”

There was a close-up of the other contestants’ faces, painting a needlessly dramatic scene. The enthusiastic responses from the judges were each shown one by one, and the choreographer’s words were emphasized using huge captions as if he’d said something ground-breaking.

[※You know you’re amazing, right?!※]

[※I practiced hard so I could give a good performance.※]

[※No, I’m telling you. This is something you’re born with. You’ve got talent.※]

The problem was, this style of editing made my responses seem rather unenthusiastic. I guessed this was intentional.

“Does that mean you’ve never taken any lessons before?”

“Yes.”

“Nothing at all? Not even after school lessons?”

“No.”

The comments confirmed my guess.

- LOL I gotta agree, it doesn’t seem like he practiced very hard

- Moondae sounds pretty done

- He sounded really passionate when he was singing, though

Nobody seemed to think too badly of Park Moondae for his lack of enthusiasm this time though, and people were cracking jokes. It was a good sign. Hmm. I was starting to get a feel for what they were going for. So I’m supposed to be… some sort of tactless airhead who’s still got talent?

I’d be criticized for this, but it wasn’t a bad start. In fact, this was actually going to work out really well for me. If they hadn’t made a huge mess of the editing when it came time for the team battle, the recognition I’d built up so far would likely carry me through the second evaluation, at least. I guess my below-average dancing might even be seen as passable, given how favorable the editing is.

I was hopeful as the dancing portion of my audition began playing on the screen. When Youngrin had requested that I dance, the reaction online was rather uncertain.

- I guess he’s not much of a dancer

- Wow, they’re actually asking him to dance

- This is not going to end well T_T

- The second-hand embarrassment is real

“Yes. Is it possible for me to do this song?”

“Huh?”

The comments grew excited again when Park Moondae instantly requested a song and the staff’s confused expression was shown.

- The hell?

- What song did he ask for?

- Why’s the staff waving their arms? LOL

- Can’t even begin to guess what it is

Both the editing and the comments lost it when the absurdly cheerful tune of “POP☆CON” began to play.

[※!!!!※]

A caption with multiple exclamation marks popped up on the screen as one of the judges spat their water out. This footage was cut together with clips of Park Moondae dancing to “POP☆CON” with a completely serious expression on his face. The result was pandemonium.

The contestants sitting around me burst out laughing and I felt utterly humiliated. Ugh… I was just trying to give the impression I was trying my best, even if it was an easy song. I was being depicted like a moron who was a super fan of “POP☆CON.”

By this point, I was afraid the scene would live on eternally as a meme, but as usual, the outcome surprised me.

- ROFL

- Whoa! Moondae is cute!

- He’s serious about his performance, that’s for sure

- He’s really doing his best LOL

They… like it? The Internet’s reaction was even more favorable to my dancing than it had been to my singing.

Holy sh*t.