Chapter 162

Chapter 162

Big Sejin opened the door. There was something akin to a smile on his face, but as expected, he didn’t seem to be in a very good mood.

“Uh... Are you coming in?” he asked.

“Yeah.” I walked inside, shutting the door behind me, before throwing him one of the water bottles.

“What’s this? Are you telling me to cool off?”

“Something like that.”

“Haha.” He pretended to laugh, though I knew he wasn’t amused. Sitting on the floor, he opened the bottle and chugged it down, almost emptying it before finally beginning to speak.

“First of all... I know you’re going to ask me to apologize and work this out.” He spoke in a monotone. “I’ll be civil and handle the matter once I feel up to it, so don’t worry. I’m not going to cause the group any harm over something like this.” His next words actually sounded sincere. “I want to apologize to you and the other members. You must have gotten a shock when we fought like that in the van.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “You’ll apologize to Bae Sejin, but you’re not actually sorry?”

“Of course I’m not,” Big Sejin said, laughing wryly. He rubbed his hand over his eyes. “I really don’t understand it. I fully believe that I’ve done everything I can to treat him as a member of our team.” He began folding his fingers one by one. “Half the time, I’m the one giving him one-on-one lessons to help him learn the choreography. When the camera’s running and he suddenly pauses for too long or totally stops talking, I’ve covered for him countless times.”

This was true. Though he’d never liked Bae Sejin, he’d always done his best to help him as a teammate. I doubted he’d done it for Bae Sejin’s sake, though.

“And he called it pretending to be good friends... ha!” Big Sejin crumpled his empty bottle, then deliberately relaxed his fists as if making an effort to calm down. “That makes no sense. This is work. Is he trying to say that he feels uncomfortable when I talk to him in front of the camera? And then he claims he’s serious about being an idol, and I’m the one treating it like a joke...”

I had a feeling it was something like this that was pissing him off. I decided to interrupt before his emotions got out of hand.

“Yeah, I see what you mean.”

He silently drank his water, and I chose my next words carefully.

“You’re a big contributor to the team. And as you said, he’s gotten a lot of help from you, whether he realizes it or not. That’s probably why he felt so weird about you not liking him.” I continued calmly, “He has no choice but to continue accepting your help.”

Bae Sejin might be doing his absolute best, but it just couldn’t be helped that he wasn’t as talented an idol as the others. He hadn’t been trained in this field in the first place. That was why he hadn’t told anyone about his struggles, worried that he was doing a disservice to the team just by being on it.

“He just reached his limit. This whole misunderstanding pushed him over the edge. I don’t think he intended to make you look bad in front of the others on purpose.”

Given Big Sejin’s personality, it was likely that he thought Bae Sejin had intentionally tried to shame him in front of everyone else. So I reassured him that this was likely not the case. It seemed to have worked. He was a bit calmer now at least.

Big Sejin asked slowly, “Be honest with me. Did I sound sarcastic to you, too? I mean earlier.”

“In the van?”

“Yeah.”

I rubbed my chin. “No.” I continued speaking before he could respond, “But you didn’t sound sincere either. It was like you were saying it just because it seemed to be the right thing to say at that moment.”

In hindsight, what Big Sejin said hadn’t been all that different from what the other members had to say. The problem was the resentment that had built up between them over time.

And right after our debut, he did vibe that he hated Bae Sejin but was putting up with him because they were on the same team. Bae Sejin probably still remembered those days, so it wasn’t strange that he’d interpreted Big Sejin’s unenthusiastic compliment as sarcasm.

“I know you said it because you thought it would be better than saying nothing at all, but for some people, saying something you don’t mean is worse. It would have been best, of course, if he’d talked things over with you privately without letting things get so heated... but he’s the type of person who easily gets swept up in his own emotions.”

“I just don’t get it.”

I drank my water and smiled. “That’s just because you have very different personalities.”

“Ha!” Big Sejin pressed his palm against his forehead. “Take the time to have a chat with him.”

If they could at least try to see things from each other’s point of view logically, they would probably understand that neither had any malicious intent, at least. He took a while to respond.

“I... I’m kind of sick of it.”

This wasn’t a good sign.

“Sick of what?”

“When has that guy ever tried to get along with me?” Big Sejin said calmly, “You remember, don’t you? How ever since our Idol Inc. days, he’d frown whenever someone said something he didn’t like.”

I could immediately mentally summon countless instances of this very thing happening. I held back a groan. “Well, yes. Though I’m sure he had his reasons.”

“Moondae, which person here doesn’t have their own reasons? None of us is lacking in talent, either.” Big Sejin smirked. “I don’t want to hear that he’s just a sensitive person, or that he’s a hard worker, and he has his reasons, so I should have been nicer to him.”

He seemed to have given up all hope of getting Bae Sejin to see reason. “You saw how he was. He’s still the same, even now. I could tell he hated it when we booked a variety show together. Isn’t that so rude of him? Is being nice to him despite disliking him a bad thing, because I slip and let it show a little bit sometimes?” He seemed tired. “Well, anyway, I understand what you’re saying. I told you. I’ll apologize. Let me sleep on it... Then I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

Damn it. I held back a sigh, then just let loose my real thoughts. “You know what? If you hate the idea of apologizing to him that much, just don’t do it. Our album won’t fail just because you guys had a falling out... And you don’t have to force yourself to if you don’t feel like it. I’d rather you went all in and just cussed each other out when you have the time.”

Big Sejin shook his head. “I can’t do that.”

“What?”

“We have something on the schedule together tomorrow afternoon. We’ll have to settle this before then if we’re going to keep it from showing.”

This guy was seriously impressive.

Work always comes first for him, no matter how he’s feeling. This was one of the reasons why he found it so hard to like Bae Sejin, who had difficulty just holding his own.

And then there’s his background to take into consideration. I thought of one of the reasons I’d insisted I should be the one to talk to him.

First things first, I have to take apart his argument.

“We have seven members. Even if you two don’t talk, people will just think it’s a coincidence. I acted like garbage for an entire month, but it never became a huge issue.”

I was determined to get into the nitty-gritty details, even if I didn’t particularly like the idea of talking about it. There was no other way.

“And the reason I’m telling you to speak with him is because of my own experiences. Things got better for me... after talking with Chungwoo.”

“But that’s different…”

“Actually, there are some similarities.” I drank a mouthful of water. “It wasn’t him, per se, that I was having issues with. He’d just reminded me of something painful in my past. I think the situation is pretty similar here, don’t you think?”

“What do you mean?”

“Isn’t one of the reasons you rate Bae Sejin so poorly that he reminds you of your past, just like me and Chungwoo? He’s the final member to be added to the group... who used to be an actor.”

Big Sejin had told me about his past when we’d been preparing our concert sub-unit performances, and the similarities had bothered me when I noticed them. The addition of an already famous actor had been the reason he’d been precluded from the team he was meant to debut in.

“Just before debut, a guy whose parents were both actors joined the agency. He was already pretty well-known, so they wanted him on the team... but management decided they only wanted seven members. So what did they have to do? One of us had to be cut.”

Bae Sejin was also an actor, and he was the final member to be added to our group, while also lacking in talent as an idol. I had a feeling this had triggered some bad memories for him. Big Sejin gaped at me, expression shocked.

I also got the feeling that saying this to his face had the potential to cause a fight between us as well if things were to go south, but he was a smart guy. He could probably understand what I was getting at.

“Maybe you’re right...”

Yeah. Just as I thought. I nodded to him.

“So I suggest you talk with him and find out what kind of person he is. I’m not saying you should try and understand him or apologize right off the bat. Take some time to judge who he is with a cool head.”

He shot me a slow, wry smile. Sighing, he shrugged his shoulders. “Fine... Yeah. I’ll give it a try.”

His tone felt very different from the way he’d offered to speak with Bae Sejin earlier. He wasn’t just trying to get me off his back this time—he would take the conversation seriously.

There. That should do it. My goal had been accomplished. I screwed the cap on my bottle and got off the floor.

“Good decision.”

“Well, thank you for your time, Mister Therapist.”

“Cut it out.”

“Haha!” Big Sejin grinned but still looked to be deep in thought. He was probably trying to decide if there really was an illogical side to his repulsion.

He’ll figure it out. Regardless of what happened next, I was too tired to do anything more about it. Rubbing the back of my neck, I opened the door.

“I’m going to bed.”

“Yeah, sure. Oh, by the way.”

“What?” I was expecting him to ask me a question about Bae Sejin, but what I got was quite different.

“Your attitude wasn’t all that terrible, Moondae. You were hurting, and you did your best. Chungwoo was just worried about you. Thanks for caring about me. Goodnight.” Big Sejin smiled softly, waved, and closed the door with a click.

I stared. I hadn’t been expecting him to say that. It felt a little odd.

“Hmm.”

I stood in front of his door for a moment, then pulled myself together, heading to the living room. If Bae Sejin and Chungwoo were still talking in our room, I didn’t want to interrupt them. The three remaining members were sitting side-by-side, watching TV and whispering among themselves.

“When can we go to sleep? I’m sleepy,” Eugene said.

“L-Let’s w-wait a little longer.”

“Be patient, silly. You can sleep in the living room,” Raebin said.

“I don’t like sleeping on the floor. I need a bed,” Eugene protested.

“Does a bed matter to you more than them sorting this out?”

“Both matter to me!”

Eugene and Raebin seemed ready to break out into a fight of their own, and Ahyeon was starting to sweat.

“Y-you guys, don’t fight!”

I held back a groan. “You guys, go to your rooms.”

“Hey!”

“Moondae!”

“D-did they make up?”

“No.” I sent Eugene back to the room he shared with Big Sejin after getting him to promise he wouldn’t ask any questions. I also sent Raebin on his way, telling him not to wait up for Chungwoo.

Then I said to Ahyeon, “Let’s just sleep in the living room.”

“Y-yeah!”

We’d be settling in for the night somewhere that wasn’t a bed for the first time since we’d debuted. It occurred to me that we’d all gotten along quite well so far.

Just as we’d managed to hunt down some blankets from the closet in a different room, Chungwoo emerged from our room.

“Chungwoo.”

“Oh, hey guys. Why do you have... blankets?”

“W-we thought i-it might take a while.”

“It’s fine. Go inside and sleep. I’m done talking to Bae Sejin.”

“Did it go well?” I asked.

“Uh...” The expression on his face was complicated. “He’s been going through it. It’s not anyone’s fault... but I think those two need to talk it out. How was Lee Sejin?”

“He’ll have a chat with Bae Sejin when he’s cooled off.”

“All right. Let’s wait until tomorrow and talk again, then.”

“Right. Good work.”

“Nah, this was all you.”

It seemed Chungwoo had lent a willing ear to Bae Sejin’s worries. After we’d quickly bid one another goodnight, I returned to our room with Ahyeon and Bae Sejin seemed to have calmed down.

“Sorry... I made you guys uncomfortable, didn’t I?”

“N-not at all! A-are you all right?”

“Yes. It’s just... Anyway, I’m sorry. I’ll be careful,” he said, his face pale and puffy. Then he lay down on his bed and said nothing more. I could practically see how stressed out he was.

I guess he’s been doing a hell of a lot of thinking. It was pretty obvious to me that he’d run the gamut of everything from Was I too harsh? to That bastard deserved it.

Ahyeon said nothing as he went to his bed. I sighed, turned out the lights, and tucked myself into my own.

I didn’t have time to check the comments about our most recent appearances. I’d been intending to do it in the van, but that had been impossible, for obvious reasons.

Maybe I’ll do it now. I turned on my phone and started reading through the news articles first.

I hadn’t been reading for long when a quiet voice said, “Are you asleep?” It was Bae Sejin. His voice was muted, perhaps because Ahyeon was already asleep.

“Not yet.”

He was silent for a while before finally rasping hesitantly, “Do you... Do you think I’m in the wrong?”

I could sense how anxious he was.

“No. It’ll all work out.”

The two of them were simply not compatible. They’d been doing what they thought was best for the group in their own ways, but the stress had piled up in the end. Since Bae Sejin was technically the underdog, it had probably been harder for him.

“Okay...”

It seemed like he’d pulled his sheets over his head. I could hear the muffled sounds of him sniffling. Obviously, he didn’t want to be heard. I locked my phone and closed my eyes, pretending not to hear him instead of making a fuss.

It will all work out after they’ve spoken. Until then, we’d keep the two of them apart as best we could.

I had no idea that the next day’s W Live would see the two of them on the same team.