Chapter 132

Chapter 132

This wasn’t the first time I’d seen an event like this. It wasn’t rare for fans to prepare something like this at a concert, after all. I’d seen similar events the three or four times I’d attended to fulfill fancam commissions.

I had never felt any special kind of way about it. It had been interesting to watch, that much was true since everyone in the venue somehow managed to keep in perfect time even though they weren’t being paid to do it. But that had been about it.

But this, being on the receiving end... It felt completely different. Each one of the rippling lights represented a single fan and all their excitement. It struck home for me like few things had ever done.

There was an overwhelming sense that we were sharing in something bigger than ourselves, and I was at the center of it all instead of being an outsider. I didn’t know how to put it into words.

The music continued to play in the midst of all this. The next part was mine.

Everything changes

But the magic of this moment

Maybe it’s YOU!

A thrill I’d never expected to feel coursed through me from head to toe like someone had poured warm water over my head. Gasping, I quickly lowered my gaze. It felt a little easier to stay calm staring down at the floor. At the same time, however, I felt the urge to look up and see more.

I’m a hot mess. I was bewildered. The singing kept ringing in my ears.

I feel good today

like something great’s about to happen

What was more, the other members were starting to join in. The first to do so was Big Sejin.

“You make everything okay!”

It was easy to hear the tremors in each of their voices when they sang their own parts—it was obvious they were deeply touched.

“Li-life is strange, jump lightly...”

Kim Raebin began his rap, sniffling as he did so.

My part was coming up.

I’m losing it. I brought the microphone to my lips, left with no choice.

“...you see me?”

I’d missed a huge chunk of my line. The last part I had managed to sing didn’t even make sense.

Sh*t. I gritted my teeth, and the other members finally seemed to take note of the silence.

“Moondae?”

“M-Moondae?”

“Are you crying?”

Suddenly, many hands were shaking me by the shoulder and patting me on the neck and back. I could hear confused cries combined with the sounds of the crowd’s singing.

My goodness. I massaged the area around my eyes with one hand. Looking up, I tried to stay calm as I gazed at the others.

My members had red eyes, and even though some of them were obviously teary or on the verge of crying, none had tears dripping down their faces like me, not even Bae Sejin.

Goddamn it. Now I look weird.

“Oh my gosh!”

“Oh, Moondae.”

The others gathered around me, laughing a little, and much to my relief, they began to cry as well. It was obvious they’d been holding back tears themselves.

“Let’s keep working hard.”

It was like we were drunk on the mood, as they crowded around me in a group hug. My face was glowing. I wasn’t sure if it was the hug that was making me feel so breathless, or the situation itself.

“Oh no!”

“Don’t cry!”

“It’s okay!”

The singing paused during the instrumental break and shouted words reached my ears. I tried to take a deep breath. The arms pressed around me fell away, and Big Sejin rushed off somewhere, bringing back a cloth that he held to my face. I grabbed it without thinking and pressed it against my cheeks.

I saw navy lettering on a light purple background. It was one of the slogans that someone had thrown onto the stage.

I’m losing it. I buried my face in it, probably looking silly as hell. Someone roughly tousled my hair.

“You worked really hard.”

The members tugged me to the front of the stage before the instrumental section was over. Holding hands, we bowed deeply to the audience.

Screams filled our ears instead of singing, and I stumbled over to the microphone.

“That’s right, you are the magic.”

Thankfully, I managed to sing the final line of the song somehow.

The fan event disguised as a talk segment ended, and after we somehow managed to stumble through a few words, we stepped off stage. That was when the tears finally stopped flowing.

This should have happened five minutes ago. I was stunned speechless by my own tears. I never thought I’d end up crying for the first time in seven years in front of an audience of thirteen thousand people and hundreds of cameras.

Maybe I shouldn’t have stopped keeping an eye on social media... It would have been easier to handle if I’d known about it in advance, but with the concert coming up we’d all agreed to stay off the internet for a week or so, in order to make sure no strange comments impacted us mentally. We hadn’t had much to keep an eye on, anyway, so we’d assumed it’d be all right.

Who knew the fans would throw something like this together? Never again would I go through with such a useless internet detox. I nearly crumpled up the banner in my hand, but repressed the impulse and instead folded it up neatly and placed it on a chair nearby.

“Yo, I wasn’t expecting that at all. You didn’t even cry when you got first place on the show.”

I didn’t respond.

“You sure were born to be an idol. A man who only cries for his fans... Damn!”

“Cut it out.”

Big Sejin had wept on stage as well, but he sure seemed cheeky offstage. He chuckled as he changed.

“A-are you okay?” Ahyeon asked.

“Of course.”

He was genuinely worried about me, so I couldn’t even be angry at him. Ahyeon had looked deeply moved but hadn’t really cried much. That left much less work to be done for the staff.

Bae Sejin, on the other hand, had only begun to seriously cry after he got off the stage, much to the staff’s confusion.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“I-I’m fine,” Bae Sejin said, stopping his sniffling with an effort so that the staff could touch up his makeup.

“We don’t have much time left. Let’s get a move on.” Chungwoo, who’d cried a little and then gathered himself fairly quickly, hurriedly took hold of the situation.

Eugene hadn’t cried at all and was simply very excited. He stood next to him, already fully changed. “Let’s go! Let’s go!”

Right. It was time for us to go. The long-awaited performance of the title song was waiting for us.

“Fifty seconds remain in the video!”

We ran to our assigned standby location. The lights were out over the central stage, and it was probably already set up. I knew from the script that the backdrop onscreen was an old mansion, with a dusty chandelier, preserved butterflies, and rusty cages. There would also be a winding crank behind us.

“Going up!”

The mechanical lift lurched into action, the floor opening above us as we rose onto the stage. The glimmering lightsticks and the shouting simultaneously went wild. This was no time to be amazed, however. It was time to focus again, storing away all our emotions for later.

Blue lights lit the stage, and we fell into formation.

***

“Ugh... Oh god!”

It was the night of the 31st, and the two days of TeSTAR’s first concert were finally over. Park Moondae’s fansite master trudged along, gripping her bag in her hand. Inside was her trusty camera, which had performed its purpose admirably, filming the concert perfectly.

She was completely drained from attending the concert two days in a row, taking pictures and crying. She’d even been in the standing section on the second day, meaning she’d stood for the entire concert. But she had no regrets—not a single one.

It was so amazing... There hadn’t been one moment in the concert that had been disappointing. It had been amazing to see all the members giving it their all, and the performances themselves had been entertaining and fun. She felt like she’d been in a completely different world for the past two days.

Too bad it only lasted for two days! If only they could extend the concert by just a couple of days! She wanted to see TeSTAR on stage again, even though she’d only just walked out of the concert. Unable to contain her excitement, she logged onto social media on her phone. She quickly uploaded some of the low-quality pictures she’d taken of her camera’s little screen with her phone.

========================

[2X0331 Final TeSTAR concert - Park Moondae preview]

(Photo of Park Moondae with tears in his eyes)

(Photo of Park Moondae poking his cheek in his sub-unit stage)

(Park Moondae turning through the air on his wire)

Love you Moondae

#TeSTAR #ParkMoondae #MoonPuppy

========================

The fansite master felt her heart ache especially when she looked at the first photo—one of Moondae holding in tears, gripping a piece of paper with both hands as he looked at the floor. She thumped a fist against her chest.

He’s such an angel! Moondae had cried on the second day of the concert as well. The fans had prepared a different event from the first day—sending paper airplanes flying through the air while TeSTAR sang the fan song as an encore.

As expected, TeSTAR was once more overwhelmed by the astonishing sight of ten thousand colorful paper airplanes filling the air. They’d picked up a few of the lucky ones that managed to fly onto the stage and discovered that there was something written on the paper.

“Huh? This is...”

“Whoa, hold on...”

The fans had written messages on each piece of paper. The event was touching in the extreme. A few of the members had been teary-eyed, and the fansite master’s first preview photograph was one of Moondae in that moment.

Even though he seemed the least likely to cry, he’d cried the most at the concert. He hadn’t shed a single tear when he’d gotten first place on Idol Inc., when they’d gotten first place on national TV after their debut, or at any of the awards ceremonies. But here, he’d shed them freely, and the shockwaves were huge.

The fans, as well as various online communities, were stunned when it happened on the first day.

- Holy crap, even Moondog cried?

└ He didn’t just cry. He completely lost it (photo)

└ No way

└ That’s for real. Look at how much he cried

- I thought he would never cry, not even when TeSTAR gets a daesang. But he broke down when the crowd sang to him once—I love it!

└ You pervert! (Covers mouth)

└ This bastard’s probably hiding a smile

└ You caught me

- I’m buying the VODs for every concert he cries at. I’ve bought today’s. I can’t wait to see it in high-definition

└ LMAO

- They pretty much all cried, our TSuns. I’d have cried too, if my first concert was in a stadium

└ They had so many trolls tormenting them, and so many difficulties along the way. I guess that’s why they appreciate their fans so much

└ It’s good to be their fan LOL. They make a great show of being appreciative, at the very least. If they weren’t capable of that much, they’d have been disqualified from Idol Inc. before they even debuted

- Moondog, my forever idol, prancing about with his pink bow ♡♡ You TSuns members should be good to him, he can save even the worst song choices ♡♡ Moondog keep crying and feeling indebted to the fans ♡♡

└ LOL this here is an obsessive solo fan

TSuns was a nickname for TeSTAR meant to deter search engines from finding the fans’ posts. In any case, information about TeSTAR’s concert was quickly shared across communities with no censorship to fan accounts who had better manners and behaved themselves.

This was only natural, considering the sub-unit stages, shocking new songs, and even the crying—all excellent talking points. Proof of this was that the fansite master’s post was shared over a thousand times within the first five minutes after uploading.

Acquaintances and followers rushed to comment as well.

- Moondae’s blond hair is precious. PRECIOUS!

- SO CUTE♡

- Moon Puppy cried again T_T. Thanks as always, Full Moon Bae!

-His real skin color is beautiful, too. Stop whitewashing (crying emoji)

└ This is a preview without any edits, you asshole. Get lost. People are always screaming whitewashing everywhere

A few foreign troll comments appeared as well—perhaps an indication that foreign fans were beginning to trickle in.

This one picks a fight with every fansite master, it seems. She glibly ignored the comment, having seen many like it before, as she quickly boarded the subway.

Ugh, there are so many people here... She’d gotten a ride home from a friend who’d been at the concert on the first day, but today that wasn’t an option.

Maybe I should have arranged for a taxi or a hotel! She was beginning to regret her decision when an empty seat appeared in front of her, allowing her to sit down.

What a relief! She took out her camera immediately and began clicking through the photos and videos. The new songs TeSTAR had performed at the concert refused to leave her head.

They were out of this world. She hadn’t expected what they’d come up with. But she couldn’t be more grateful. It was important that the concert not be spoiled online, and so the fans seemed to be trying not to upload photos or fancams of the new songs, but she really wanted to brag if she was honest.

At least I can replay it for myself. She was about to play the footage she’d filmed today when her phone vibrated on her lap.

A notification she hadn’t been expecting appeared on the screen.

[Inviting Loviewers to TeSTAR’s concert wrap-up party! (clapping hands emoji)]

It was a W Live notification.